I have often wondered who we are. A name, job title, personality characteristics. How to define the individual. How to explore our inner selves. Words say so much, but somehow limit essence of self. Describing oneself or the observations of others.
“The treasure house within you contains everything, and you are free to use it. You don’t need to seek outside “. Zen Master Dazhu.
Living in Wales is a fantastic experience for someone that carries a camera in the pocket. I’m not into photography as a hobby in a big way at all. I just take a walk now and again with said camera (sometimes use a flimsy old tripod bought from a boot fair for £2 that folds down to coat pocket size too. Nice and light.) and capture a few pics of the local spots. Nursing is a busy job so it’s nice to just relax, take a stroll, point the camera at something interesting and snap. About the pictures on the blog site? A few years back I picked up some secondhand darkroom equipment from a boot fair. Very basic stuff and the local recycling shop had a batch of old dusty Kodak/Ilford papers from the 80’s. So I had a go and the results you can see. I’d like to give it another go but the small cleaned up log room out the back back I used at the time has to be de-spidered and cleaned up. Can I be bothered?? I always was a bit bad on the technical front and need to relearn how to develop film all over again. Black and White is very atmospheric and I like to see the results in this format. Don’t take anything with a colour film at all. The photographs I’ve taken over the last 2 years are stuck in the fridge still on the roll film. Maybe it would be good to see whats on them! I use a Pentax LX with a couple of lens and it’s sturdy and built like a tank. It’s a wonderful piece equipment and a classic camera. I use a Pentax 645 too from time to time. Also, I wouldn’t even begin to think about changing to digital. Forget it! The mystery of the latent image is just about perfect. The Silver stuff every time.
At present I’m having my old Volkswagen T2 Crossover Bay Bus, named Billie Bud, renovated. It’ll be back soon. And it’s inclusion will be amazing. So, a lifestyle of work and out there balance is waiting. I’ll use as my daily drive. Good to hit the open road and wide open spaces as well as those hidden gems that exist in these beautiful isles. A mix of music, photography, writing, drawing, creating aromatherapy synergy with a plethora of essential oils and a bit of basic vegetarian cooking to stretch and push the limits of the abilities of a Cobb cooker and a double gas hob…….all await.
Music, photography, cooking, art…… whatever our interests, we’re lucky people to be able share our interests on this world wide level aren’t we? And I for one am overawed by the talent that exists out there. Culturally it is a stunning adventure.
So I’m made up of the following. I have my various professional statuses………budding ‘hoped for and yearning learning how to be something/one new I aspire to being with eventual beauty ‘ ……….or successful in realisation that now, with a commitment attached, I can carry on and build upon what I find was always deep in my soul as an essential requirement which allows me to live the life that saves my soul. A vegetarian, a nurse, a musician, a Buddhist, a teacher, a British Sign Language user, a potter, a photographer, an aromatherapist, an artist, a cook, a Husband, Father, Grandfather and friend.
I am these, yet none of these.
As Zen Master Linji says:
“If you want to be free, get to know your real self. It has no form, no appearance, no root, no basis, no abode, but is lively and buoyant. It responds with versatile facility, but its function cannot be located. Therefore when you look for it you become further from it, when you seek it you turn away from it all the more “.