“Is it cowardice to run away from harsh reality?
Or wise to seek new harmony
In another reality?”
Wrote this a while back. It was after dropping the hard won staff nurse role as a career. That’s what writing, not in an isolated sporadic way, but with regularity does for you. Brings to the surface the conundrum of inner thoughts. A conundrum because the current situation regarding nurses is that many are leaving the profession. A shortage now exists. Blame/reasons for the situation are discussed/explained from many viewpoints upon reading from whatever source chosen. Myself? Could have carried on as long as able. At retirement age I could choose. I was encouraged to go on the register for ‘bank nurse role’. A role that I could be called upon to fill in on shifts when required.
I accessed the forms sent by email. I could choose to accept or refuse shifts so would be able to determine abilities in retirement. Not be as pressured to fulfil the full time and highly pressured situation that I had been involved in for years upon years. This, I believed, would make me a much better nurse due to being less stressed. My experience was still a valid entity to tap into. The health board I worked for asked me to undergo induction training again. It was as if I was a completely new member of staff. They required my past evidence re: experience, photographic evidence from a driving licence/passport of who I was and more. It was as if I never existed within their employment. Actually. Photograph? I possess neither driving licence or passport for evidence. My driving licence is a valid old fashioned paper one. My passport expired during the Covid heights. Going abroad was not on the agenda, so not renewed. The only photograph I now possess is on my free bus pass card!
The upshot was……too many hoops and tick boxes required to go through from a health board I had worked for, as said, for years upon years. Left my permanent role one week and could have started on a bank shift role the next. However, not an option. Barriers of an unreasonable nature. I shrugged and laughed. Decision made for me then. Simply turned my back on the role and walked away. Enjoy retirement and leave the madness.
Cathartic writing down of these thoughts is vital. Guilt is a terrible burden. Leaving a situation and adding to the NHS turmoil. A sentence of true feelings and subsequent enlightenment. The flow of ink allows further flow to the processing of thoughts. Especially when using a fountain pen and ink. The ‘go to’ tools for creating Nirvana for therapeutic intervention.
A constructed sentence or two from a wispy thought or imagining? Opens up your heart! And in doing so…….
……..lays bare your reflective rumination, current dreams and hoped for ambitions. Then you can go chase them.