Chaos needs to be chased out of the Door.

When the inherent thoughts speak softer not louder. 

When what was light involves change to confused dark. 

The past days memories have gone into a land called mixed and mingling. 

The mirror images cannot whisper back. So……

Catch them while you can. 

So the story goes. To where. No one knows. Borne from? Self promises. Not worn out wishes. 

So. Self promise. Decision is needed.

Write at every end of day! It is an essential end of day sabbatical need for ensuring reflection material and therefore personal growth.

Writing the diary every year begins in earnest. Then a period of chaos gets to rear itself. A lot of activity can go off kilter and suddenly overwhelm. Tiredness sets in. Intentions of recording daily events to include in the diary, they pack their own intentional bags of information, zip them up, run and catch trains filled with sleeping cats and take small breaks to the seaside. 

The past two weeks have involved too many events to record with reflection. Reflecting on what happened over the last two days, now passed by, onto unfilled blank dated pages are difficult enough. Looking at blank diary pages to the count of a sequential ten? An impossible task.  My wife’s calendar provides no insights other than ‘Dr. Appointment’, MOT for car, drive to Worcester to pick up Grandchildren, move friend from one place to new place, Wholefood shop orders to put in place and achieve, events to go to, decorating items to order, carpet fitting, ASDA shopping order, etc., etc. What it does not include are the little dynamics. The fine details of how it all went.

Journalling? A substitute….. and yet not. No time to ‘diary’ also means no time to journal. 

Blog? Daily or less frequent, but with more energy applied to them, is a requirement. Because the subjects chosen have the dynamic of cathartic exercises. Different themes. Interests not happenings. Happenings are not happenstance thought. Little ideas to carry into blog sphere. I can’t spill private day to day activities into the World. The World! Yup! Thirty three different countries visited this year alone. And a very, very nice number of drop by visitors in a period of 49 days is noticed by yours truly. It gives small euphoric goosebumps. 

Back to the diary thoughts. Which got me wondering. How many various Worldwide cultures write diaries and do exactly the same? If they do, do they start with the intent of applied daily recording and slowly lose motivation to pick up the pen?

Memory is now a sad ‘short term memory loss’ affair as one gets older. Either Covid pushed its destructive symptomatic buttons at neural pathways. Or the little grey cells need more meditation time to keep them sticking around a while longer. An enjoyed or worrisome experience of the actual events come and go with no specific time frame to hang their hats on. We can all have one seemingly simple day packed with us going through the motions. Experience an event, move on, the next event, move on, another event, move on, and on and on and end of day collapse. One day can be Dr. to visit, car to take, people to visit, shopping to do, bus to catch, telephone conversations, emails, texts, Facebook replies, etc. 

And so. My wife’s calendar. 

‘Organise Your Chaos’.

These people that design a presentation template to record planned activities to be tackled effectively must know us very well. But a few small boxes cannot describe the fullness of experiences. Only twigged memories. But if no memory exists? Organise your diary reflections too.

6 thoughts on “Chaos needs to be chased out of the Door.”

  1. Interesting musings Gray. You had me worried at first that something major had happened – Hope not and you’re simply reflecting on how time passes in a blur and you’re left wondering where it went. I guess we need to find a way to capture what we’re doing, and even with a fully functioning memory, our brains/memories would not hold onto everything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh! Sorry. No intention to get yourself and people worried. As you get older, it has become difficult to pinpoint activities to certain days. It has been a few chaotic weeks and more to be honest. I suppose it’s retirement and the once was ‘nice feelings’ linked to being in control of your own agendas. When lots happens all at once you can’t get anything to hang your hat on. Also. Although a lot of energy has been slowly dissipating re:nurse knowledge, it has been coming to the fore recently again. Looking into Covid aftermath therein lay a conundrum. There is the complexity nowadays of ‘is Covid the baddy or is it just getting older or general wintery stuff’? Ah well! As you say ‘musings’. Cheers and all the best.


      1. Try not to let it get you down 😊
        I’ve been very fortunate not to have had Covid, but I do believe it does have some impact on memory – but many things do. And right now I need to log everything or I fear (and risk) dropping some balls. Recently had a colleague phone to remind me I had a class one afternoon. I was quite happy working in my pjs and drinking coffee

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Made me smile. Logging down info is part of the necessary process in a hectic learning environment. I was sitting comfortably on the beach once when the mobile phone rang and a colleague asking why I hadn’t arrived for the late shift! Long Covid when first nursing at it’s beginning was called so due to patients still testing +ve (at low retesting threshold) for elongated times. 109 days after getting Covid for one patient. Now long Covid is symptoms based. I get Medscape emails regularly and the whole ongoing enquiry is still a basis of new learning. A doctor recently on the TV was talking of his own experience re: brain fog. Insightful. Cheers Brenda.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I remember reading many of the symptoms of Long Covid when it was emerging and thinking they’re describing my life with ME/CFS I can really sympathise with anyone stuck with it. It’s a horrible, unpredictable condition

        Liked by 1 person

      4. There are so many enquiries over the years where we can reflect later and realise naive thinking. ME/CFS is one of those where the two are both associated with/same as each other. Analysis that seems to be ongoing. You seem to approach with an attitude of positive thinking. All the best.

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