Twenty five years ago, possibly a few years more, my younger brother’s best mate visited us here in Wales. My younger brother died at 21 in a car accident. Myself, my wife Angie and my brother’s friend were reminiscing about him outside at end of day. A clear sky showed us a multitude of stars. More than a fair few present and witnessed by the naked eye despite the lights’ contamination from the village.
The friend said, ‘He’s probably watching over us right now’, and pointed to the sky. We looked up and a shooting star stroked the sky’s black background. We were speechless.
This above story? Well. Yesterday I mentioned a quote from a book recently read. ‘Enchantment’ by Katherine May. About the impact of modern life’s fast paced technology. This book has an insightful energy that is quite profound. Four separate themes of Earth, Water, Fire and Air have her personal views regarding how the recent pandemic and the onslaught of modern fast paced life has overwhelmed her. The Earth’s elements links bring her reflections and dreams and hopes for rebalance. Links to those elements from past and future considerations. For example Water and ocean swimming. If it sounds like heavy reading. It definitely is not.
Why I told that first star incident? She speaks of stars. Of comets. Her need to see a sky with no lights contaminating the visual splendour. Of travelling hours to get to a place which is perfect to witness such a presentation. ‘This is exactly where I want to be: watching the skies for a glimpse of star fall’.
It speaks of losing our way within the quagmire of modern life. Of the impact of how the pandemic enforced isolation and limitations. A change to her normality life. Normality in finding ‘grounding’ by having her feet planted on to the earth in meditation practice, her swimming in the ocean, to reading. And more. Dreams about a wish for bee keeping, of star gazing, of connecting back to nature. Finding answers to the ridding of a fogged mind and burnout. The base of the book is not about providing answers for us. No Guru message of how to self help. It is about what she herself wants to get back to. A world that can still proffer a re-birth for herself from her past reflections and future needs from what the Earth offers. Still offers. In both hidden corners and open spaces. And by providing these insights she taps at our own conscious and subconscious thoughts. Her writing style is of a poetic and prose like nature. Astounding vocabulary with poignant meaning in one or two sentences. She is an extraordinary writer. It gives the reading experience page turning status.
After both working in my nurse role and living the pandemic experience as we all did, I found an essential retirement focus. The main photograph shows alongside the book some central heating copper pipe brackets! Balance you see. Doing things. Throw myself into ‘doing’. Just do, think DIY and gardening stuff and keep active. Jobs needed doing at an enormous level in home and garden. It stopped the recent past negative thinking processes I suppose. Also throw writing into the equation with a blog and new found interest in purchasing more fountain pens. I had burnout, but of a weird mental intrusion. I wasn’t physically tired. But my brain hurt from reflecting nonetheless. Negativity had to change to positivity. And the results seen in a ‘new, freshly painted room that provided wonderful comforts’ was indeed of positive nature.
On reading Enchantment, I found myself mesmerised that I had both experienced and also desired some of her own experiences and hoped for dreams. Getting back to finding balance, quiet spots, a cleaner and more inquisitive, but gentle, mindset. I haven’t read much since retiring. All fiction has left me dissatisfied. Probably do not want that type of theme anymore. My four reads since giving up the working role as a staff nurse have been spiritually connected in strange avenues of thought provoking nature. ‘Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows’ by John Koenig re: reflections on strange and quirky episodes you experience in life and of which there are no singular words for. ‘The Journey. Big Panda and Tiny Dragon’ by James Norbury re: everything you think you require exists already in the ‘everyday’ and is already inside you. The Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling re: a need to escape into a land which was already familiar after a fair few revisit reads. No surprises on the next page.
That last read, Harry Potter, was really the nail on the head. Katherine May, in her first pages, writes of losing the desire to read. Myself? Since retiring and putting down the last of a plethora of textbooks about medical investigations, I have read the few mentioned above. So an extraordinary small amount. Then, I realised. It is about fear. Fear of the unknown. Fiction, when turning the pages, brings about anticipation. Not dread. But a trickling of small fears, butterfly flutters and unwished for outcomes. In well written books especially. I have started to read and stopped a few chapters in. Discomfort brings about a wandering mind in need for escape.
Before the Covid experience I could still pick up books between the technical reads. Not as many as I used to before nurse training. But at least they got to be read in full. Covid has provided a new mindset. Yes. Fear probably. And it is a difficult one to shake loose from.
Drowning in anticipation over the last few years? Who wants to add to it by reading books that bring the unknown too. Albeit in a fictional sense? In Enchantment, recognising why the anxieties, burnout and lethargy exist, by simply nodding your head in agreement, is comforting. The other books I picked up and began to read felt wrong. Also, as said, the mind wandered. I was probably also mind searching for self peace after the enormity of experiencing the nurse role and the pandemic impact. Maybe a need to find answers closer to spiritual harmony. Yet I do not read ‘self help books’. Never wanted to. Reflective practice writing in nursing was enough of an intrusion. Reminded oneself of what you are doing wrong. And what is going wrong around you.
‘Enchantment’, as a read is different. It allows you to take your own dreams and seek to getting back to basics. To what the Earth can offer. I don’t want to change ‘me’. I want the Earth to give itself back to me. Simply by myself allowing it to. The Earth hasn’t changed in its abilities to give sustenances. We all lost something in the pandemic and sometimes we do find we have to find answers to get spiritual balance again from deep within ourselves.
Gray Summers 
Thank you for shedding light on a statement made to me by an aunt whom as a retired nurse, always interested in holistic health, that she never liked self help books. You wrote, “ I do not read ‘self help books’. Never wanted to. Reflective practice writing in nursing was enough of an intrusion. Reminded oneself of what you are doing wrong. And what is going wrong around you.” And now, I think that probably captures her reasoning.
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Thank you for replying. I suppose we were always having to reflect. Whole books were written on Nurse Reflective Practice. It was tiresome at times because of its intensity. So, your aunt may well have had too much of the practice as well. When we revalidation every three years to prove ourselves as suitable for carrying on as nurses, it was so invasive it added to extra ward work. Even mentorship training to guide student nurses had self analysis involved. Hence my need to seek solace from the base nature that the elements offer. To sit amongst the dunes, forests, lakes and rivers and simply breathe in the ambience surrounding. That helps so much more than self analysis. And Holism through other complementary energies is not gold standard because of lack of research. So the NHS therapeutic and healing practices adopted is a very narrow one. Hospice care is more open minded. Understandable re: NHS policy needing solid and dependable research. But it’s nice to leave that thinking behind now. All the best.
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THIS is sooo helpful for me to put myself in my aunts shoes, if only for a moment and to see her comment to me via her lens. Oh!! I appreciate this and you so much!
(Unfortunately, she cut me off and I couldn’t ask her directly, though happily, we have a bit of emails back and forth due to another matter, and I don’t want to bring up old painful topics). I let go as much as possible!!
“To sit amongst the dunes, forests, lakes and rivers and simply breathe…” resolves most everything. ❤️🦋🌀🙏🌳
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I remember a nurse I worked alongside who was well into her retirement years and loved coming to nurse on ward still. She left the nurse role after revalidation came into force. It is a monitoring skills base to ongoing knowledge, etc. And important in that it keeps current knowledge at gold standard levels. But when it does come around there is much evidence to put together. Reflection involved too. And rightly so. On a personal level though, I feel that it is so nice to have left it all behind now. Get on with enjoying retirement. All the best.
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I hear you. One of my best early friends, who passed away in January of 2021, didn’t get the chance to retire, though he probably never would have retired. We wrote the songs, First Friends, as a tribute to him. He was a nursing supervisor in Ohio. I will post a link to the song next. Enjoy, IN Joy. You are sooo deserving.
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Thank you. I will take a listen. So sorry he passed away so early in life.
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Me too! Joe was 60 when he passed and was back in school too, going for an advanced nursing degree. He loved what he did. And his passing was a shock.
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60 is so young. I went for a Masters at nearly 60. Others with experience attending really helped. So understand that his experience would have actually made a great contribution to the cohort.
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That was an awesome listen. Watched it here in the App. Will get to the direct YouTube listen later. Great visuals. I’m working on a song presently. Music is great therapy too isn’t it ? Cheers for this link. Earphones gave it great depth.
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Well, thank you. I actually had not looked at all the visuals before because my husband puts these together so fast and as a graphics artist has “a million of ‘em.” I mostly listen to our songs while I’m working. I’m glad his sense if humor worked for you. I think he was attempting to lift the mood on what could be an otherwise sad song, lyrically—I wrote the lyrics.
Cheers for you on your songwriting! We have spent a fortune with demo studios.
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I am looking into getting a fave Shure microphone on the new iPad at present. But am failing with the new iPad USB-C connections introduced. Want to get some acoustic tracks down in a few months. Can’t afford studios anymore, so the iPad GarageBand app will be an option. Your song? Musically, lyrically and tune wise it is so strong. Your vocals were ace. As were the musicianship skills. Cheers for sharing.
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You’re so kind! Yes, after we move in August, hubby wants to rebuild his music studio. I will let him know about the iPad and mic. We have GarageBand but have never used it. He had other recording equipment and sold everything after he had a stroke last October.
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That sounds great about the studio rebuild. It will be good to be able to focus on a project and then have the joy to record as you wish. He will understand about the new iPad issues re: changing lightning to USB-C format limitations. All the best.
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The reflection from nursing sounds intrusive and uncomfortable from your descriptions. The pressure to reflect when it should be something holistic rather than forced. Working across 2 professions where that reflective practice is getting increased focus worries me as nursing practice is often held up as the benchmark for being a reflective practitioner. I have to reflect on my own practice, and I have to teach reflective practice. I might pick your brains when I’m preparing for the new academic year.
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Reflection isn’t an ongoing requirement of a regular nature. But if you look at some of the book descriptions of nurse reflection on, for example, Amazon you can read the directives. What happens now in nurse practice is that revalidation every three years requires reflections on situations you experienced re: update learning, knowledge, problems, team work, etc. There are models out there to assist frameworks. Students especially are encouraged in their training. The reality is that once in the job, you have full time duties. Within the revalidation process you do reflect on certain situations to show how you performed, reacted, etc. My observations are that you reflect on areas that you find you need to understand. Go over situations that made you both confident and also less so. But on a regular basis it isn’t. I feel learning and showing skills as a professional is about teamwork. It was just that I personally felt overwhelmed in the reality of the ward busy nature. Reflection is whatever you make of it I suppose. I did tend to delve deeply. Maybe my description is from my presentations. The benchmark status could well be attributed to the guidance models that exist. Certainly the Roper, Tierney and Logan model of nursing for use on the ward attributed to patient care was a model introduced for improving care. A philosophy based on Activities of Living. I suppose models are simply inherent in health practice. Provide a uniform and consistently measure-able approach. As to my nurse brain? I let it fly the day I retired. 😊 I actually, in reality, no longer have that skill to remember the finer details. All the best Brenda. Thank you for your reply.
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I just looked on Amazon at one interdisciplinary reflective book description amongst many. This small sentence. ‘This second edition has been thoroughly updated with new chapters emphasising the importance of personal growth, processing emotions, building resilience, and issues of diversity, intersectionality and positionality’. You spoke about ongoing professional development in one of your themes. This above is one type of a few areas for reflective considerations. Cheers.
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Yep. Thanks Gray. I must admit I actually need to record some/get it logged on my personnel file
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I used the Gibbs’ reflective cycle. As said, I delved deeply and took my time. To be honest self analysis is difficult for myself in the professional arena. That is why the need for connection with the Nature Fix is high on the current agenda presently. To simply let the great outdoors do its thing. All the best Brenda.
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Yeah, Gibbs is the foundation of a lot of reflection. Maybe nursing is just focused because it’s been established longer and therefore there is more research than other areas
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Also, autonomy exists and huge responsibility for current knowledge where patients are involved. Interdisciplinary team exchanges are paramount too. Each recognising each others’ skills. If I asked an Occupational Therapist or Physiotherapist their advice and they need reciprocal overview to make their decisions, then up to date insights are necessary. Now? Well blog exchanges are so more of an easier content. 😊
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More fun and less pressured … just grabbing some tea to relax between marking scripts
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Just grabbed peppermint tea. Either a Chai or Peppermint? That’s the kind of major decisions I do like to make. 😊 Happy relaxation vibes to you then. All the best.
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Nah, strong black tea with milk … Punjana
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It seems your tea choice is as eclectic as your coffee choice too. All the best with your marking.
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Lol. Thank you 😊
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I’ve never read a single “self-help” book. I do not want nor seek out other peoples solutions, they are not me. They have never walked in my shoes, sat in my chair or read my mind. I find my own self-help solutions. Interesting book review.
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This is her self reflecting and by doing so she touches others’ familiarities. Especially how Covid impacted. There is no suggestion of self help for others. That is why I love this book. Seeing how she finds answers for herself. Quirky yet serious too. Covid and being in the nurse role frightened the pants off me psychologically. But I wouldn’t seek a self help programme. This book? I simply like her prose style. She also has that amazing ‘can’t help but turn the next page’ style. Just ordered another of her books. You are spot on re: your own life’s journey is for you to work out by yourself. That’s the same as blogging. I tend to do it in my own style and if it goes badly it doesn’t actually matter. It’s fun. Style analysis re: blogging is something I never understand. It should be simply enjoyable writing, include why you love the interests you do and with freedom to do it our own way. Cheers Danny.
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Sorry, I was not implying or maybe I was was that the book was a self help book. I intended to agree to your and other comments on self help books = nope. The story of self help is very interesting to me.
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No. Don’t worry. I thought you were probably speaking about the comment I made within the blog. Fully agree with your views to be honest. I find the well being answer to problems is through writing them down. It’s my number one go to. Once the letters appear that go on to make the words that you then read and reflect about your inner thoughts…..it seems to work. Cheers Danny.
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