HEART ON MY SLEEVE TIME:

A LONG ONE……SORRY. IT INVOLVES MY REFLECTING ON THE PAST YEAR. PLEASE DON’T READ ON IF YOU ARE BUSY. PLEASE DO IF YOU NEED A SLEEP ENHANCING EQUIVALENT TO COUNTING SHEEP. YOU’LL THANK ME IF YOU GET HALF WAY THROUGH THIS AND SUBSEQUENTLY REALISE 8 HOURS OF DEEP SLEEP PATTERN AND WAKE UP REFRESHED COME MORNING WAKE UP CALL……

To begin.

The way I got back into committing to music and songwriting again, after decades of being in the professional roles of staff nurse and supporting Deaf students in education, was a simple phone call from Spain last September. Okay, I was still guitar playing from time to time because I was picking up my acoustic guitar over the years. It involved simplicity. Used for the pleasure of strumming and the therapy it gave to me. I wrote ideas and little songs, because I used to write songs back then. Old habits die hard.

But this Spain based phone call was a shock. Back in the 1970/80s our bands were popular within the local Coventry, UK scene. The phone call was from a former musician in one of the bands we were in. He was asked by a promoter if we could reform The XCerts band and play a festival gig. Hence, why he rang me to see if I would commit. I accepted, meaning I had to go and buy a bass guitar again. And further equipment to create enough for a live sound for the festival. Short story? It all fell through because two of the three of the project group members were, in reality of life’s commitments, too busy to see it through. I was still up for the vibe of music in my life again. This bombshell? For my hopes…….I felt truly devastated.

So how did I respond? I had applied my focus, over weeks to many months, learning how to play and sing old songs again. Also, in developing some new self written songs over the decades post bands, I hoped some would be accepted additions to include for the live performance. Learning playing bass guitar properly again wasn’t a massive challenge. Luckily, those acoustic guitar playing years were, in hindsight, priceless for keeping my hand in.

So, with the let down of the anticipated ‘live’ scenario, alternative thinking came into play. In honesty? The scenario of playing to a crowd live on stage for the first time in decades was freaking me out. Committed to the choices made. But realistic to the fact that a 68 year old ‘elder’ wasn’t the same model as my 25 year old be-bop presentation. Not as yet a Zimmer Frame status. But certainly no chance of doing the same bouncing routines whilst playing bass. Cancellation? A bit of relief entered the frame of mind if I am honest. It felt I was involved in a tribute band scenario to performing as a counterfeit in my own original band.

However. The upshot was, after the vibe cemented itself of becoming a possible serious musician again, there evolved a scenario of nailing my true inherent colours to the mast. I still wanted to write songs again in earnest. The ‘re-bug happenstance’ simply invaded my whole being and felt good.

After the live gig was cancelled? My buying the Apple Mac mini M2 Pro system, with the Studio Display monitor, and other additions to home record my songwriting, was an essential and exciting prospect for the future. However, being a technophobe, it has been a very difficult journey so far. Modern technology is a new Summers received, not perceived, but have to believe in phenomenon. Basically, I like an amp with a microphone stuck in front of it and a 1,2,3 …..go. Simplicity! But reality says ‘You need buddies involved Gray. And they are simply not happening. You’re all alone mate….get a grip, and get on with it’.

Above photograph: Room with a view.

Up to now, there are a handful of quick GarageBand experiments on this system. Old school above is warm and wonderful. Modern? Listen to the audio listens below? They exist as a small collective to mainly use for accessing the technical learning of ‘how to’. Short song ditty types for changing experimentally without worrying about losing time spent content. What internal sounds I have played into the system involve a maximum of two to three hours of individual ‘songs’ application. Play off the cuff without attempting a full on three to four minutes of fully finished songs. Can’t use microphones on my amps, (see below) because the room isn’t soundproofed. My microphones pick up a neighbour’s hay fever sniffle down at the end of our village. So I need to barrier myself inside the equivalent of a ‘padded panic room’ to avoid the outside world of environmental noise invading my gently whispery sung vocals. ‘Hello Mrs. Jones. How are your haemorrhoids fairing after you’ve changed your diet to fibre based bran flakes?’ Such utterances from the village community do not sit well against my heartfelt lyrics of singing ‘I honestly love you’ as a song related to my long established love of my life that is my wife.

The sounds sought? I realise an electronic trumpet or trombone doesn’t sound anything like the real thing. So limitations from the off! None of these songs below are keepers. The tunes? Yes. The renditions. No.

Small song upload excursions, like below, mean that I can change dynamics of individual tracks within the song’s short structures and not worry about messing up completely. I have unintentionally deleted played guitar sequences recently or individual keyboard pieces totally. Happens whilst attempting to follow the instruction manual and reading incorrectly. Believing I was cutting and pasting into different areas of the screen’s recorded tracks, I bish bosh bash keyboard buttons and Ooops! they disappear into the unknown Twilight Zones.

And so. These little musical pieces below of short duration are realistic for avoiding frustrations. By not recording a complete song and ruining the effort of application. The learning curves needed are currently quite limiting.

The recorded reality below? Real musicians, are the preferred ideal. But they are not available. The little collective of sitting in each others’ company, sharing ideas, and an air of feel good factors and skilful playing of each of our own instrument choices, are priceless. The dynamics to a song go to another level with human touch. Tippy tappy choices of synthetic brass instrument equivalents does not in any way equate to beautiful breath controlled playing and production of the wonderful heartfelt warmth of a saxophone being played with eyes closed.

So, the recent experiments below. Basically myself hitting guitar strings and plonking on a keyboard or warbling into different microphones to produce these sounds. An umbrella scenario of made up ditty inclusions to enhance technical learning of the new modern kid on the block called ‘This is how it’s done now’.

Vulnerability isn’t in my character because what is positive about challenging your inherent belief’s with a negativity tag attached? If you are yourself a person who wants to share your past, current and future experiences with others…. no one has the right to judge. If they do? Tell them, as Joe South wrote, ‘Walk a mile in my shoes’.

BELOW LISTENING.

As an aside. I cannot promote this enough. If you listen to music regularly? Use a set of headphones, ear buds or, if you have amazing speakers to listen with, use them regularly. Inherent speakers on your mobile phones or other portable devices leave much to be desired. To hear any songs you love from your favourite artists, give yourself the experience of quality listening. It matters. Truly.