#Frail Autumn,, #Lyrics, #music, #songwriting

A blog of too many words.

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Dancing Life’s Journey. It’s always beautiful. But still retains an air of mystery.

LONG BLOG. IF YOU NEED A CUP OF TEA/COFFEE OR THE TOILET……LEAVE NOW.

FRAIL AUTUMN (Project or Band Name):

THE BEGINNING.

A CALL VIA MESSENGER BY FACEBOOK.

A call from the guy that played guitar in the 3 piece band I was part of back in the 1970s. The XCerts. My experience in this endeavour was not simple band part either. 2/3 of the band was my brother, Kev, and myself. The 3rd member was the guy on the end of Messenger call. Living in Spain now. He says:

‘Hey Gray. We’ve been asked to get the XCerts back together to play a one off festival spot. Do you fancy it?’ I was a retired nurse. Music? Listened to, played acoustic for fun and serious commitment left decades ago.

As some of my beautiful blogging friends here know, Kev (Zero Summers), was my musician brother who died at 21 years old. A brilliant drummer. A vital part of The XCert’ sound. So no original XCerts were possible. The guitarist says ‘It’s been sorted’. Paraphrasing here. Another brilliant drummer, John, who I played alongside in a band called Team 23, was up for completing a new XCerts’ trio. So, when the guitarist said this, I was really up for it. So said…….

‘Of course…..Yes!’ But I had no relevant equipment.

Subsequently. After much expense of buying a Fender Jazz Bass guitar, a combination amp called a Fender Rumble and numerous other bits and bobs to look as confident as I could. I fell into playing bass again and after half a year and learning all the old songs, I began to feel competent again. At 67 years old, I couldn’t sing my written lyrics again about the subjects I wrote back then. Nor hit the notes with my once stronger voice box capabilities…..nor rehash the youthful punk vibe from back then. I am not a ‘grab back at youth’ type person. I love my current skin. It has life experience written in every learned and earned physical age line. So I had to really analyse the songs, lyrics and et al. surrounding the situation. You can’t sing and commit to a youthful view point. At 67? That is just weird country.

To be fair, I was grateful to my past experiences and involvement to the whole vibe of early pub gigs doing covers, the freedom of punk to write a whole gig set of self written songs, new age to dress in a better fashion for my sartorial comforts and the vibe of the wonder and emotional values of soul music in all its beautiful emotional values.

The three bands? Soft Ground, The XCerts and Team 23. Glorious to have been a part of all of them. Simply for both the camaraderie of fellow enthusiasts and also to what it all gave to life’s learning. Not forgetting it is a lovely conversation introduction to start on a flagging exchange of chit chat at party’s. But, despite all of this……I could never ever be bothered about a return to seek past non-glories. Been there, done it. Yes, I do own the TShirt that says on the front ‘Success? Loved the idea of it. But it didn’t love me’. But that is a misnomer.

Success is a very one sided viewpoint. Too complex to discuss here. Enough to say that ‘Success is attributed to positivity’. In any small self contributed degree. Always borne from the results of life and what it gives. Life is beneficial when you hang your hat on the hoped for true memories. Aphantasia doesn’t allow my having a visual connection to my past. Hence the phrase ‘hoped for true memories’. Memories good and bad. They give strength. All strength is developed from life’s self stories. No other person truly contributes. They do try. Admirable and welcomed. However. You are your own story. One sided. You are you and you understand….you. Be confident in ‘You’. You? Matter so much.

Back to this music malarkey. I love and loved being a musician. So, so much that a guitar was always in the house. My beautiful Italian made Eko Ranger acoustic I bought at 17 years old. I wrote this ‘Old Man’ song below on it. And subsequent others. Song subjects are many. A crisis, a wonderful success, a simple or complicated story, an emotionally related negative or positive, putting a stamp on what actually day to day matters in one’s life, or a prophetic future or known past enquiry. A self written song cements whatever the occasion and never lets you down.

So, after agreeing with the XCerts project, after the luck thrown at me by angels, I had my beautiful bass guitar back in my life. Long story….already a long blog so far. So…Heave a sigh of relief. I won’t expand. Subsequent bass guitar ownership? For a few months it was glorious. A new motivation and, as a recently retired nurse, something to keep my mind active. I began writing songs in earnest. Everything felt beautiful to be honest. And then……crash. No guitarist. No drummer. Not their fault at all. Older guys like us have commitments. So I understood their needs to focus on more important issues in their lives. I was a nurse. I actually understand what ‘triage’ is all about. A one off gig versus life and commitments required? Life wins every time.

But, in that moment, reality hit hard. I live in a rural aspect and finding musicians that can commit? Needles in haystacks.

My wife, a wonderful support, was 100%……well….supportive. My brother, a guitarist, too. He was going to join the XCerts on stage at said gig to add wonderful additional musical noise to enhance the live gig impact. So there he was waiting in the wings so to speak. He says, after the collapse of aims…., ‘Why not record the songs anyway?’

I began looking at equipment for song recording. On enquiry for hiring a studio at £200 a day? I could in no way do that as a retired pensioner. So, after weeks of searching last April? Here I am currently. TECHNOPHOBE. There I spelled it out. Actually a lifelong TECHNOPHOBE. So went in with a huge gulp, a huge monetary home recording equipment buying commitment and a promise to myself to make stuff happen. I convince myself to set up a daily Mantra. ‘Summers! You can do this’.

Well actually, I had many words with myself over the months since last April. ‘Fool on a false hill, barking up the ‘Once Was’ tree, aren’t you too tired old man, out of your depth aren’t ya!. etc…..

But in reality? Music in itself is a very beautiful entity. It has resonance that can blow you away. Knocks you sideways with one simple playing of an E chord. That E chord that you know gave you your rock and roll beginnings. You owe your past existence and experiences to the sound of six strings playing E. Yes E can mean ecstasy in this musical case. Actually it was B flat that started this new journey…..joking. It was A sharp.

So, ‘What you rambling’ on about Gray’ you may say. Rambling on about recent smiles and chuckles. Basically, it feels great doing this music vibe. As said, music matters, heals and is great for the soul. If you can dance amongst its tunes and learn a thing or two. Then waltz with it forever and a day? Yes, certainly. It’ll always have your best interests at its heart.

Currently I am at a crossroads. Choice? The west, the east, the road once trodden to get here, or the north? North to new adventures. Obviously. Well…….aren’t I already half way there? The last 6 months have been South to North brutal yet brilliant experiences. Alone…yes. However. Even though ‘Flying Solo’ may not be my most wanted scenario (I actually love collaboration values) it was/still is, enlightening. Self introspection? Sharing your own thoughts, about your own past complexity of experiences, with yourself. Weird.

But real and touchable living in a Wales rural domain has in reality, not allowed a full on satisfaction guarantee. Living in an isolated situation. Akin to the unnamed ‘Tea Shack Woman’ who lives within David Mitchell’s wonderful book ‘Ghostwritten’. She literally talks to a tree overlooking her shack. Strange? No….writings from an absolute genius author who leads you to future explanations to who that tree actually was in subsequent books. He definitely is the best current author on this planet. I wait, drooling, for his next book. A talking Tree? Well actually, I am surrounded by trees…….just saying! Reality. I still talk to trees.

Long post with too many words. Maybe I am the only one who will read this. But it’s like any of my past journal entries. Good for one’s own soul reflection. Or. In a years time I will read this and tell myself ‘Hey Summers! Was that one too many bourbons?’

Yup!

It’s the songs that provide the story to ongoing ambitions of keeping the mind alive. Both good and bad presentations.

Or ..Perfect complexion versus Warts and all.

If you got this far? You deserve a medal.

15 thoughts on “A blog of too many words.”

  1. I won’t hit the like button, but I will comment! I appreciate the lengthy post with audio. Do you like the round bottom sound of the Jazz? I used to play bass when I was in college. I had an Epiphone, and then a Yamaha. I dream of a Fender Aerodyne. I like the energy and playfulness in your bounce! 👍

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    1. Thank you. I played a Jazz bass from the off in the 1970s punk beginnings. So, as you ask, I appreciate everything Jazz. It has a special place in my heart. In reality, I have no visual memory of past life. This due to having Aphantasia with mind’s imagery existing in complete darkness…therefore no visual past memories to cling on to.

      Last October, at a guitar shop, I saw the equivalent of my old 1960s Jazz bass in a rack at the said music shop. Fender reissued the classics around the 2000 mark. Presented with a physical and touchable past near as damn it past memory….I got very emotionally involved. Holding the similar equivalent to my past Jazz bass, which I sold unfortunately, it was a euphoric moment. I now own it.

      So, in short, the Jazz is my ultimate bass. The modern amplifier variable sound choice and GarageBand or Logic Pro or equivalents with altering sound choices, determines what you are really looking for with your preference to sound results. I love original vintage source. Using a USA 1970s vintage Shure SM58 microphone to capture true original sound from an amp driven speaker….I actually dial my Fender Rumble amp with ‘Vintage’ setting. Currently, I confess to using interfaces for clean sound. I have no way of avoiding outside noise interference to record without the sounds of passing cars or telephones ringing.

      Incidentally. I am truly not bothered at all about ‘likes’. I have no agenda at all here on WordPress. It is a very kind and respectful society of people with interactive leanings towards positivity. I am truly thankful for my WP friendships built up over time and all their exchanges in both support and enquiries. Life exists in positivity in two way exchanges. My musical journey, despite its flaws, is the current ongoing focus. I welcome advice from others’ experiences and welcome enquiry of what I myself have experienced. When people arrive here with interest in enquiring? I will answer every single time. With my limited knowledge of the technical side to it all? Weak area. Ask me about experiences from way back when? I can hopefully be more enlightened. No agenda required at all on this site. I will answer with heartfelt enquiry every single time. Again, thank you for enjoying the playfulness of my latest post. All the best.

      Oh!…..Also. Hope you find your true dream bass sound. I have no idea what an Aerodyne sounds like. But will look now to see their attributes. And thank you for your reply. Much appreciated.

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      2. Thank you. I did go look and read the first page of a thread about the Aerodyne. 6 pages of discussion on that particular thread. Seems really well liked. Discussed facts like too lightweight pick ups, the comfort of playing due to its light weight, its soft wood possibly getting ‘dinted’, etc. . The overall views were that it is a much liked guitar. My recent Jazz purchase has a Warmoth neck with a heavy central metal truss rod. So is very heavy. Seems the Aerodyne is a much more comfortable playing experience. Hope you find your perfect bass. Cheers.

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    1. Cheers Shep. I do get compass confusion. I don’t believe the earth is flat. But always thought, witnessing a school day’s to adult flat map…..why is the USA worried about Russian aggression. They are so at distance………..Stoopid Me.

      My peri-??? known meaning? Not great with finite words. Stuff of words is self determined to self needs Shep. I never knew that peregrination word either. Even as a Tim Burton fan. I knew, as a nurse, peri means ‘around’. Enquiry for full understanding to finding out meaning depends on time.

      My destination is determined infinitely important. I often think diet. If it was a seeking of enquiry to how many calories exist in a bowl of cereal…..yup! Given up long ago. But the question of how are you as a self proclaimed song writer? I’ll own up to struggles here in the weirdness of electronic capture. But fight every corner re: self ability when sitting and jamming amongst buddies playing with camaraderie and heavy bourbon influences. This lovely scenario says ….Sod the weird technological confidence issues. Grab your guitar and simply sing with your mates. If a YouTube listener who said that they thought the artist was in the room with them. Yup. (Your Podcast…Ultimately). In reality, it would be good, after listening on WP, that others felt they were literally in the room with ‘me’ and just enjoying the shared vibe. Like? Well……way back when. This technology? Pretty sterile to be honest.

      Cheers Shep.

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  3. I read all the way through and then read it again. it beautifully conveys the story of a lifelong musician and seeker—a good, kind man who consistently chose to be true. I think that’s all that really matters in the end, Gray. while I may not have all the answers yet, I see someone who remains committed to embracing whatever life and music bring next.

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    1. Thank you cookie. I typed at pace last night. So have edited the spelling catastrophe this morning. 😊 I get very maudlin time to time. Ends up an epic length outpouring. So thank you for taking the time to read. And twice too. Your thoughts here are very humbling. So a huge 🙏🏽

      Used to write these reflection on paper with a chosen vintage fountain pen. There is comfort in using that medium. I like to think that authors get better results using pen and ink. Old fashioned Type Writers ‘clacking’ is a nice writing experience too. Typing on iPads with one finger, hitting the wrong letters, the spell predictor giving 3 weird choices and dropping them into your text whilst your attention is on the next word is a strange experience…..still. Although. It’s a considered thought for lyrics to a song maybe. Let your spell predictor tell the story. Like Dylan and Bowie cutting up text and laying it down randomly to create a song.

      Truth. Johnny Depp always says ‘Just tell the truth’. John Lennon wrote a song about truth too. That’s why I really like your blogs cookie. You’re the same. Expressing your thoughts poetically and with grace and panache. Sharing one’s own truth can certainly help others. And self reflection by putting them down helps the writer too. Reflecting? More simple today. I want to add electric guitar random overlays today on that weird beat song from yesterday.

      All the best cookie.

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  4. Okay, Gray, where’s my medal? Haha! I love your summary here. WOW! I have been following you for quite a while now it seems. Hehe!
    I am glad you have your wife and brother’s support (and WP fans), to encourage your musical journey. Yes, it is fun and healing!
    I don’t always know all of the music gear tech stuff either but agree that making music and capturing life moments in songs are a fab way of leaving a legacy. So your brother is right! Record the songs and see where things go. (And you are recording them.) It’s great fun to hear what you come up with. Look how far you’ve come in a year!
    We have spent upwards of $500-$700 per song to have a music studio record our songs, which for many years, didn’t seem too bad when Richard and I both worked full-time. But yes, since retiring we can’t afford that either. So, he asked around and found a couple of the guys would record at home, taking snips from Richard and remix, say, when he chose to rewrite lyrics and have songs sung again. He pays $125-$200 per song for that. So, he limits his rewriting to one song every few months. It’s not bad because he gets too frustrated and upset to do it himself. I am quite sure your well chosen equipment will pay for itself soon, Gray. Bravo!

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    1. Thank you for the support and encouragement Sheila. Looking back, I bought this home recording set up in April this year. I suppose it’s good to remind myself it has been a fairly short period for adopting a new skill. And playing bass again for a year now. October was when I got that phone call from Spain. It hasn’t been a whirlwind year either. Time has slowed down with this project to focus on.

      Yourself and Richard seem to be a Whisker Kisker away from the technical side. If I had the session guys play my songs? I would find that it was a hard act to follow initially. But then, it is nice to pour your own self belief of your melody and lyrics into self written songs. And also, I believe you still have your Mac set up. A nice condenser mic to sing into, an audio interface for the guitar and free GarageBand and away you go. With hindsight, even though I am a long way off a decent finished product, the learned results so far have been one of those ‘Of course! Obvious really’ exercises. Worth a try. I can say that now. Back in April? Wouldn’t advise it. Too much trepidation and gulping down concerns.

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      1. All so true, Gray. But Richard still gets frustrated more easily since having that stroke. He is still just trying to get back to playing the guitar. But I could sing, better when I wasn’t missing a front tooth, and I could use any of his instrumental backing tracks. You’re right, it ‘could’ be done. But will it? Hehe

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  5. Yes I read your post – apparently one of many readers. Like you I am happy in my current skin, including all the scares, wrinkles and blemishes. It took a life time to get my skin thins way and welp I’d rather not go back and do it again. In the spirit of Harmonica Riff Raff, go forward, one step at a time, do what you enjoy and enjoy what you do.

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    1. You are an amazing bunch of people. It’s nice to get support from reading the comments received. And the likes too. My skin, luckily, is okay for an older guy. 😊 Ol Shep, the harp player, is right in many ways. A musician like Shep himself can understand the vibe needed to apply to creating music. Retirement also gives me all the time I need now to enjoy the process. Cheers Danny.

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