THE CIRCLE ⭕️ OF FIVE.

Hello, hello, hello.

Today I had a minor epiphany. Or as modern speak states, a ‘lightbulb moment’. I was speaking to an old friend today who is a very wise lady. We held conversations about book circles, past experiences of supporting vulnerable others, how we are both currently faring with these older years we are now a significant part of, our situations of both being hermits and seldom seeing others, etc. When I left I was very much dwelling mindfully on the last 30 years I have lived this rural life and its balanced inclusions of gentleness in nature’s aspects and the complete awareness of reality that exists in the professional nursing career undertakings. A ride of extremes in reality. A stressful work related day can be remedied by a drive in a Hippy Vibe VeeDub Bus trundling through the countryside, with a pootling gentle run, back to the safety of home. On wintery dark nights you see the comfort of star spangled skies. On summer nights you see glorious sunsets dropping out West and into the nearby ocean.

CIRCLE ⭕️ ONE……

The penny dropping lightbulb moment was asking myself ‘Why do I not have these opposite conundrums to splendours to balance out the intensity presently?’

Simples….Because I am obsessed with this challenge of GarageBand recordings.

Over the last months since April the focus has been technology, technology and well…….more technology. Learning how to go into arm to arm combat with GarageBand, Apple Mac home recording equipment, amps and microphones, drum machines to link to interfaces and, although not technology, playing various musical instruments way out of my comfort zone.

‘I am a bass player’. Said in a Dr. Who Dalek distorted voice.

The past months have been…..Focus on focus and without removal from the intensity of learning. Even song writing has been done with the purpose of getting it right for the Apple home recording system. Subliminal thoughts of playing for drive, energy and appropriate melody capture. Okay, I have lovely little intimate moments with my acoustic guitar, voice and iPad to capture ideas. But the bigger picture lurks in the background and exists daily in the form of a shadow looking over my shoulder. ‘You ain’t gonna get away with that naive little trembling warbling on GB and turn it into something worth listening to…..are ya!’ Reality can be cruel. Not sometimes, but often. It pokes you in the chest and says ‘Get real’.

CIRCLE ⭕️ TWO.

In the past experiences of songwriting? Back then in the 1970/80s, when we had live gigs and the pressure of a manager who wanted us to become the next Bay City Rollers, Sex Pistols, Duran Duran or Echo and the Bunnymen? We had to think about focusing upon two questions:

‘Which song energies would get a crowd reaction to moving with abandonment at a gig?’

‘What could be a tune that we could write that people take to loving so deeply that it made us famous?’

Man! On reflection that was both heartwarming and shallow. Depending how much you perceive those specific moments. Current considerations are….this is now a ‘Hope to Realise Fun Times’. And…’But will it work on sterile GarageBand?’ Is an open mic night in front of a small audience a better choice than this?

CIRCLE ⭕️ THREE.

GB captures ideas certainly. But gives back nothing that is equivalent to the rawness of a room with energy brought about from yourself and a captivated collective of people who want to take the story home for their own memories. Or, in rehearsal with your band member mates who witness wires all over the floor linked to amplifiers tweaked to the point where they are seriously trying to break the eardrums, drums hammering a beat that sets your innards trembling, guitars producing melodic tunes to die for and vocals that, in competition with those surroundings, ache alarmingly in order to keep in tune with it all and struggle with the effort of breaking through the noise.

CIRCLE ⭕️ FOUR.

Anyways. Back to….the epiphany? Hey Gray! Dodge all this technology focus and duck and dive into opening up a Bandcamp artists app. Distraction. Gentle distraction. So I did. Frail Autumn is official. So now building an artistic page is a fantastic alternative focus. The current GB songs are not fit for purpose to upload. But they will be early next year.

Energy has found new purpose. Why? Because Bandcamp says back to me….’Gray…you’ve nailed your colours to the mast’. You are now committed to building a site that has to be seen as a decent presentation to what you believe in. What do I believe in you may ask. I believe in myself. If you don’t….you give up and crumble. Like dipping your favourite biscuits in a cup of unforgiving hot coffee and they break under the heat and sink to the bottom of the cup. A messy result to hoped for glorious self experience.

My recent project. I know other people believe too. My wise friend I spoke of earlier told me that our mutual friend, who visited me at home a few months back, was very impressed with my songs. And for that simple single one person reaction…I am eternally grateful. But also too? My local family, friends and WP lovelies here are ever supportive. You can’t put a price on that. And, all you guys and girls out there. You can’t put a price on belief in you yourselves and your own positive aims and energies either. If it’s in your soul then own it. I suppose that if we have no belief in ourselves? What’s the point?

Cheers me dears. And so concludes the………..

CIRCLE ⭕️ FIVE.