#Health Matters

Tiredness.

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Tired? We’ll, yes. Exhausted actually. And is not even the end of the first week into the New Year. November and December were full on. November with workload. Workload attached to much physical and mental stress over a six week period. Result? December. With its debilitating symptoms of illness. Usually of a stoic Summers’ nature, one cannot help but feel angry with a self situation. Two months that equate to the final straw that breaks the decades on decades of camel’s back.

Dizziness and swerving from pillar to post, positional crazy swirling results have settled somewhat after weeks experiencing them. Nausea, sleeping elongated periods in the daytime and insomniac nighttime experiences were frustrating. And the blogging brave face presentation to hide negativities was a way of coping.

A couple of weeks of Epley postural manoeuvre interventions to clear crystal shifting possibilities in my semi circular canals, steam inhalations with Tea Tree, Eucalyptus and Lavender essential oils and Neti pot performances to rinse debris from sinus passages. I believe these interventions to calm the dizzy experiences worked to a large-ish degree. However, currently? A massive sinus drenched and blocked head cold, a bad chest cough and watery eyes exist. Maybe the sinuses were compromised anyway. Who knows? Certainly not my nurse head space. A muddled mind has no ability to analyse.

WHILST BOOKS LIKE THIS HELD A FASCINATION FOR MY INTEREST IN SUCH PRESENTATIONS, TOO MANY THOUGHTS ARE APPLIED TO FINDING ANSWERS NOWADAYS. YOU CHASE DOWN THE AVENUES PROVIDED BY DIFFERENT THINKERS. A FABULOUS BOOK TO READ. A FABULOUS AUTHOR.
HOWEVER. I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE. ENOUGH PRESENTLY TO FIND ANSWERS THAT YOU FIND DEEP WITHIN YOURSELF.

Link to book’s overview below:

https://williambloom.com/2015/05/29/introduction-to-the-penguin-book-of-new-age-and-holistic-writing/

Triggers that bring you up sharpish. Make you realise.

So I was looking at hundreds upon hundreds of my photographs in the ‘Media’ section in the Jetpack app at about 04.00 this morning. I came to a conclusion, when being presented with visual evidence en masse, that the Summers’ mind will evidently not switch off! It’s relentless in its pursuit of ‘anything and everything’. And I am truly fed up with its tenacity. It’s like sitting in a theatre, looking at a stage full of your own activities, thoughts, actions, life lived, etc. and there is so much presented that you will never be able to get out of the building. Mind went back to Murakami’s story Town of Cats within his novel 1Q84. Pretty emotional reading in many ways from my extremely poor memory of reading it.

A couple of quotes….

“When a vacuum forms, something has to come along to fill it. Because that’s what everybody does”.

“The young man knows that he is irretrievably lost. This is no town of cats, he finally realises. It is the place where he is meant to be lost. It is another world, which has been prepared especially for him. And never again, for all eternity, will the train stop at this station to take him back to the world he came from”.

Both the above quotes from Haruki Murakami, 1Q84.

With the last few months being pretty much full on physically and mentally, illness creeping in whilst unlooked for and then looking back on those photographic images over the years on years of blogging, it was a bit overwhelming. A crescendo of exhaustion over an eight weeks’ period? It feels like you have suddenly been broken. Evidence existed in those photographs, if I’m honest, that the mind doesn’t sleep in Summersville.

A break to self centralise spiritually is truly needed. No, not one of those self expressed trite social media platitudes of ‘Oh! I am taking a break from Twitter, Facebook, etc……again’ scenarios. Just a much needed, as said, centralisation to get connected with Summers again. Look! I even talk about myself in the third person! Illeism has invaded my nature and is evidence to my current mindset. Step outside and find a way to get back at ‘peace within the mind, body, spirit and soul’. Why? Where has peace of mind gone? Was it ever there anyway? Why have I adopted an ever searching, hunting, learning characterisation for decades on decades? It’s crazy to be honest. Introvert nature seemingly does not provide ease and simplicity. The mind still has its cogs that love and live for the sounds of their own whirring voice.

It sounds like a break of a fair few weeks is needed. Maybe months. Get balance sorted. No not the dizziness…..the mind. Time to only think of self well being. Beat exhaustion and find freshness.

16 thoughts on “Tiredness.”

  1. Sorry to hear of your health problems and I hope you will recover soon! The same here. Staying in bed I think of spending next winter somewhere in warmer weather. Winter is not my thing. All the best 🤞🌞🎶

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    1. Thank you Friedrich. Sorry to hear you feel the same. So draining and difficult to get over in winter as you say. Luckily for myself, in retirement, guilt in missing work is not an issue. Hope you get well soon and continue seeking new inspirations. All the best too.

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    1. That was very interesting Sheila. Thanks for the link. I have watched a few programmes regarding Wim Hof and his purpose which were similar to what he says here. I admire his approach. The ice cold water? Not this particular intervention for myself. My daughter in law goes wild swimming and ocean swimming this time of year and embraces cold icy water wholeheartedly. She is currently on a once a day January regime with a group. The Dippers. I cannot. Even a cold shower sends me into shock status. Dangerous for myself. And I did try going through a process of both time endured and temperature change of slow nature from warmish to cold over a couple of weeks. I agree with his philosophy here outside of the ice water situation. I did find Wim’s reflections on his partner’s depression and suicide very upsetting and my heart went out to him.

      Again, as per the book highlighted here in my blog regarding New Age and Holistic Writing, there are many philosophical avenues to pursue. All those years in the nursing role meant adopting both pharmaceuticals and complimentary therapy in my daily excursions. I had to live with the pharmaceuticals from doctors believing it a cure all. Now? They prescribe walks in nature, Mindfulness, etc. . And having read very many ideas, this is why I cannot do this anymore. Too much history. I just think logically now. The situation presently is simply exhaustion and picking up anything going around. Immune system compromised. For eight weeks now it has been awful. So a break from mental enquiry by just retreating, separating from pressures and chilling is important now. So I won’t write blogs at all. As said, maybe a few months. Will certainly keep recording the songs though. But will read others’ blog uploads.

      Thank you Sheila. All the best.

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      1. Aww, I understand, Gray. Just too much. And synchronistically, the first 5 minutes of watching this video might answer this: https://youtu.be/10enqcw2Qiw?si=Xpt79s1IpmzMityq

        I have totally been guilty of paralysis by analysis and over supplementation. Abd you have much more ‘coding’ in you from nursing years than I. So, I can see why simply going inward to ‘physician heal thyself’ is your path now. I’ll spend some time (while you are off) going back through your old blog articles. Heal and rest, Gray. We will chat later on.
        Blessings in ALL ways!

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      2. I studied polypharmacy to write my final Master’s dissertation. I backed off finalising it in the last weeks because of the intensity. That’s when I realised my nurse role did not suit me one bit. I had studied for three years looking at many complementary holistic therapies and felt more at ease with them. Albeit realising some pharmaceuticals do have certain credence too. So, over-saturation in ‘therapy’ choices over decades means that a return to basic nature is the only way I want to focus. Nutrition, proper sleep, refreshing the mind’s focus on the basics, etc. Fed up feeling ill every day recently. So want a decent break.

        Thanks for thinking about blog revisits. And also for the links. All the best Sheila.

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    1. Made me smile Steven. Thank you. Third day now into the dreaded flu. Not ‘man’ flu either. The whole debilitating bundle of real hit by a hammer, head splitting, bunged up to the max and much needed elongated sleep type of flu. So I guess the harsh reality is that the ‘off switch’ comes by the phrase of the body’s self saying ‘Enough Already!’ Although. Typing this through fuzziness. So still not truly switched off Steven. All the best and many thanks, once again, for making me smile. Much appreciated 😊 .

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  5. Hi Gray…I didn’t want to put a ‘like’ to this post because it didn’t seem appropriate considering your health status…hope things have improved since this was written….take it easy and gradually mate…have you tried that herbal remedy from the sixties? SD

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    1. Hi back Shep. Thanks for the thoughts. I don’t do ‘ill’ at all if I can help it. It gets in the way of living life comfortably. It’s 05.39 writing this back to you. A more comfortable night from about half twelve. So, yup, improving. No splitting headache, tight hacking cough, and the rest of the awful’s are getting rid. Sinuses are a bit infected now. So am inhaling the Godsend of your native Tea Tree oil. Been doing that for about three days now. So great it is killing off the nasty’s.

      Funnily enough, I have never, ever tried the 60’s herb. Was offered it very many times back when. But said no. I was a scared-y cat. Alcohol was scarcely drunk too. No money basically. I had no job in the second half of my stint as a musician, so lived hand to mouth. Gods bless Mum’s that invite you around and cook meals. And a girlfriend (now wife) that cut hair for a living. The first half of my stint playing in bands, my job paid £10 a week. Angie earned £5 a week. We lived in a flat above a Wholefood Shop costing £15 a week rent. So lived off the Thursday afternoon packing dregs. The owner of the shop said if we packed up various foods, the surplus at end of bags was ours. Hence vegetarian from then on.

      So it begs the question. Was I ever a true rock and roller? Recently I watched a YouTube video about Tim Booth, the singer from James. How he hid this fact of not imbibing so as not to spoil the picture of himself as a ‘true’ rock and roll musician. Interesting guy. Put many messages within his lyrics. Love James.

      Mind you, I have said recently in retirement that I would love to try before I shift the coil. So I have plenty of time left to ‘remedy’ that missed out on. 😊

      Cheers Shep.

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  6. Hey nice to hear the Tea Tree oil is doin’ the business…I have several issues that require a little pain relief and to help with sleep – I have a friend who bakes ‘special’ bikkies that provide some relief…gotta be careful though not to have too much…I was reading a book after having had a big biscuit when a chapter I had read mysteriously disappeared…I went back to read it again and it didn’t exist 😜 I’ll check out James – sounds like a good tonic (with a biscuit). S

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    1. I used Tea Tree with a few extra essential oils for the dizziness. Now using it in isolation for this sinus infection. Steam inhaling. Catches your throat though! Bit of the old lavender oil needed alongside to calm down its excitable nature.

      Some of my patients used CBD in liquid drop form. I used to monitor their intake. I did read research at the time, as was the nurse-y thing to do before agreeing to give it, and there were no indicators as to whether they worked or not. Some doctors were for its use. If all the doctors said ‘no’, then I don’t know what may of happened withdrawal wise. Not looked at its efficacy or contraindications since retired. So about three and a half years. Gummies seem to be the go to nowadays. Someone gave me a few CBD teabags once. But I stuck with the Earl Grey variety. Didn’t try them as had no symptoms of anything they were good for to see if they worked or not. I am really glad that you are using biccies for pain control. Sleep deprivation is amongst the catastrophic wheel of increased pain experience. I studied pain control as the main focus in my Masters Degree. So looked at very many medicinal and psychological ways of pain control. Still got loads of books on the subject. My main take away from the subject. Pain is subjective and whatever works to relieve the symptoms for someone……let it do its thing and work. And that’s all that matters.

      Your book having ‘a chapter disappear’ made me laugh Shep. A mate once told me he had had a conversation with a lamppost. I asked him if it enlightened him in any way. He didn’t appreciate the joke. He truly believed he had a conversation with a lamppost. Like your chapter that went missing. He couldn’t remember what it said. 😆 My lack of a Mind’s Eye Shep, means I remember very little of what I read. Just glimmers. I could read Utopia Avenue again and still find huge chunks all anew again. Weird to understand, but true. No images appear when reading. So no overall ‘picture’ to a story to connect. All I have are thousands of collective linked words to cling to. Summers is a strange place to inhabit at times.

      Cheers Shep. You’re a 💫

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