Old man, your life’s been wasted

Too bad it crumbled round you

Old man why don’t you show me the light

Did you plan your future

Or let each day astound you

Old man why don’t you show me what’s right.

Now there’s a man over there

His head in his hands

That man over there

I guess that’s me

Ain’t nobody.

The man over there is not who he seems

He’s a mystery to me.

Someone I dreamed

I’d never be.

So I would like to say to my younger lyrical self. You ain’t lived my life yet! It has been a fairly decent adventure so far. So treat yourself kindly and tread softly. Go with your flow. You won’t need to change a thing.

It was whilst playing this song above in an ad hoc, discordant, weird and nutty dutty way that it actually lifted spirits. Just choosing and layering tracks and drum and synth sounds at random. Simply passing time for ‘Fun Summer-y Vibes’ really. A nowadays throwaway song replacing the angst of having no new melody to pick up and run with. I was thinking about how exciting it is to write songs. Satisfying the inner spirit. Youthful endeavours and new adventures bring a vibrancy of finding real excitement in something you feel you can truly run with. Call it your own. Older age doesn’t dampen that naive, yet hopeful, spirit. It just transforms into a more self critique vibe. Music can never be unenjoyable. Even when writers have ‘inspirational blocks’ it doesn’t matter. Life is a song. You just get out that Pullman Subtle Knife and find your way in to its other dimensions.

AND SO……..TO THE GARAGEBAND CONUNDRUM……..

I sent this answer to a friend here on WordPress asking where the song above, which I uploaded yesterday, had gone. I put it into ‘Draft/Draught’ status. I always think Draught Status because I imagine them in a place of discomfort and awaiting reawakening. I will look at yesterday’s post later today and see if I can compress the sound to a comfortable listening experience. Old Man is a song I wrote when 17. Therefore 51 years ago.

For a bit of distraction, I started playing the chords and lyrics remembered. I was having a day of frustrations of trying to get the electronic drums to connect to GarageBand and trying to get ideas to write some new songs. Nothing was working in either arena. Hence recording the throwaway song above. I was pretty tetchy yesterday, which isn’t me at all. But I’m a tired insomniac currently and overwhelmed with the complexities involved in this music project. A journey of patience required which can get stretched at times. Despite what it offers positively.

It’s akin to most of the words below. A veritable’Spirit of Adventure’.

The reply to my blogging friend, after confirmation I had indeed moved the post, went like this:

“I was listening to the song last night and realised I hadn’t compressed before uploading here to WordPress. So it was bouncing around in my headphones. The loudness and notes were very ‘off ‘ listening wise. Songs sound very weird when that happens. You get pure imbalance and it all sounds painful. The other problem when ‘share bouncing’ the track for sending songs by email to myself, is that the Mac converts the quality format to cope with the email accepting the volume of song information. Like when you can’t send too many photographs by email. Musically the WAV file system is the best format for listening, but too large. Mac offers high end formats for iTunes, YouTube, etc. I never use them as yet. But will in the future. Why email and not MP3? Sending to email allows me to put songs in my iPad File app and then post on to here in WordPress or send to my friends on Messenger.

On re listening to a fair few of the songs uploaded here on WP, I do despair at the differences to be honest. But shrug the shoulders because at least the process of this GarageBand project I’m undertaking is being written about and discussed. And the songs are out there to be listened to despite the weird fragmented qualities they possess. As said in my little justification Mantra……it needs to be ‘Warts and all’.

As said, all of the songs I upload here on WP sound completely different than from the originals on the GarageBand recordings. Here on WP they sound flat, muddy and lifeless when compared to what I hear on GB. I am no technical producer of any skill whatsoever, so cannot cope with mixing at all as yet. Or have the knowledge for properly handling compression complicity.

Also, I never finally mix the tracks for tone, dynamic bite, individual instruments/vocals levelling properly, treat compression with respect or look at synergy in changing individual instrumental sound for mixing textures. Even getting at my true vocal sound either. I put my vocals in a little GB library box that states bright, classic, narration, natural (which doesn’t sound natural at all), etc. Using my decent mic like the vintage 1970s Shure SM58 is wasted. The ambience created is completely askew, and therefore so wrong for actual getting a decent listening experience. I just have no skills in this area. So I tend to sing in a brighter, cleaner, clearer way resulting in emotionless values. Singing out loud here in the house has a different ambience. Whether listeners like my voice or not is just the reality that not all people like the same vocal sounds. Some singers you like or love and they resonate with your soul. Others simply don’t mesh with your soul and leave you completely indifferent.

I need to truly look into this conundrum further in reality really Sheila, because it’s frustrating knowing what the music sounds like in my headphones in The Den. Okay….the songs are still being played naively on instruments I have no skill or dexterity playing as a musician. But, despite playing naively, the songs are far more clear and vibrant than here on WP.

I bought the monitors/speakers for mixing properly too….but haven’t used them in earnest yet. Basically because it is far too complex for my current skills base. I’m caught up in so many learning curves. It gets overwhelming at times”.