#Frail Autumn,, #GarageBand,, #Lyrics, #music, #Retirement Projects, #songwriting

Instinct…the full picture. Just a heartbeat away.

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From free WP photo library.

Writing from past experiences and starting anew. But without detriment to past vibes is a very fine line. In our inner mind is no intent to dismiss the past. But value its once was inclusions that were very relevant in our life at that one point in time. So we try to enhance the memories that were based in a known realisation that they were profound and relevant in that moment in time. Evidence? In a song’s case….a listening audience reaction, alongside self reaction, proved that the songwriting and aural result was truly right. A heart given memory treasure at that given moment in time.

A fair while ago, when revisiting the two songs idea, it was difficult to recall the memories of both lyrics and melodies of those two old songs called Year One and ‘O’. Both songs were never recorded, so they both lay in the Summers’ neural synapses of what may have been. I wanted to tap into their vibe. So a trial of what may have happened began to be investigated and, a guitar strum and see to where it may follow, began. It led nowhere other than the two word lyric ‘Year One’ and two note accompanying tune. Otherwise? No truth of the two other songs’ reality. Basically it was required to begin again and seek out inner spirit of two songs that were greeted with positivity from crowds at a couple of gigs and who reacted well to both of their energies. Probably, actually most definitely, different versions played in my mind to what actually was reality.

Exploration of thoughts.

I had no idea whatsoever of the originals. Lyrics, tunes, vibes, rhythms were all on the edge of touching distance. Out of reach because the Summers’ brain doesn’t actually perform in a way to capture reality in one’s memory. I even got the imagined lyrics of ‘O’ wrong. ‘We smashed the clock faces’ came from an old poem Kev, my brother, wrote, which was never a song’s intended lyric. I held on to it as maybe the true ‘O’ lyric and expanded the idea of holding back time lyrically to my own thoughts.

So, with no concrete memory. I grabbed the original titles…and created an inner spirit of new revival. Have we all, at times in our lives, done this? Imagined what once was, felt our inner instinct of how positive certain memories once were and brought them back, in their skeletal form, to the here and now with new promise. Add flesh to the bones so to speak

Updated trial of two old songs. Reimagined. Rewritten. And yet, with no bass guitar riff recorded and included here which, funnily enough, I have a decent idea of what I wrote at the time. .

The above song still requires a revisit. Not exactly what is intended. But a base nonetheless. A whole different vibe of the song now nestles in my brain. But the instrumental playing skills from my own abilities are beyond grasp presently. So it is naive here. But has promise from the tune’s capabilities.

And here’s the rub……..

Yesterday, going through old unknown boxes, I found the original lyric book I wrote back in the 1970/80s. Included? Those two old Year One/‘O’ XCerts songs. Both were never recorded on tape to hear original ‘sound’ results. Both not my own personal lyrics. Both my brother’s lyrics. But with my guitar chords and Bass guitar riffs to mentally revisit and know the simplicity that E and A chords were the base, something glimmered. Whilst the extended style of the chords’ rhythms, melody and bass/guitar riffs existed within a surreal status in my smoky memory, the song still remained an ethereal imagined work. Just out of reach. So never able to drag original intentions out from the past, I went about recording these songs a fair few months ago with a new intent. They had to be seen through new light.

Original ‘O’ and Year One lyrics.
My old 1970s lyric book of XCerts’ song lyrics. Lovely to find again.

The brain? Strange. If I had these original lyrics from the book above and insight to the past from my brother’s input as seen here in the photo above …. would I have approached the whole recent two songs’ collaboration and synergy with different intent? Could I now replace my ‘here and now tune and lyrics’ back to the originals? Now with the new result? I cannot remember the original melody at all, and still to this day, the original tune leaves me in limbo land. Out of reach.

I suppose that is what life brings. Ways of moving on, recognising foundations, and yet still with past inspirations having an effect on where to instinctively go. ‘Yay almighty’ for instinctive nature within our souls. Born from one’s natural inner belief that life’s chosen path, if grasped, will come out well in the end.

18 thoughts on “Instinct…the full picture. Just a heartbeat away.”

  1. Yes, indeed, Gray. That is “what life brings.” And I agree these “ways of moving on, recognising foundations, and yet still with past inspirations” can influence where we go. Very good on finding the original material! XCerts cool log (pencil drawing?). I find it interesting now so many X company names. I used to use Design 2 XDreamz. My son used XDreamz.

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    1. I remember doodling and creating that XCerts’ logo Sheila. I kindly asked the stenographer at work to print out the design on sticky labels. All a bit new at that time. So had peel stickers to slap onto people’s chest when they came to gigs. Old boxes have very many inherent memories. Finding this led to me wonder where the other old historical stuff, in other boxes, is now. Definitely still in dust caked boxes elsewhere. They will be future found and come back to either please or haunt me. But all finds will be valuable nonetheless.

      Yes, you are spot on. X is a true phenomenon for visual inclusion. These were crossed ‘wooden stakes’ as per Dracula eliminators. I can’t draw properly….so lost in visual trans-lation. Trans-ylvania ……..did you see what I did there! 😊 Cheers…

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      2. Cheers Sheila. I suppose songs revisit later because the idea and sound are forever there in the form of a recording. You can then update if they are worth working on. Or, in this case, you actually have written and performed the song, but have nothing to listen to other than a brief memory, a couple of lyrics and a chord/bass riff structure that exists in muscle memory.

        Dozens of songs from the past are different again. You sang them as a solo endeavour, maybe even presented them to the band to find they never really worked so were dropped. Melodies, over time, then intermingle in your mind and songs find a way out somehow in new formats. Weird stuff songwriting. Fun though.

        Just took a second listen to your YouTube recent. 👍

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      1. I did realise your lyrics were ‘bite back’ in nature. Interesting vibe musically too.

        I hear songs through guitar harmonics that ring out into the surrounding air on strumming. Drums, like djembe, give unlooked for notes that bounce and resonate around the head too. A while back, when three of us were drumming, my colleague Darren said that he could hear ‘angel’s singing’ in the surrounding air. We all three nodded. Very beautiful from the ringing out of drum skin harmony through synergy. Also, melodies exist from listening to surrounding environmental sounds.

        I don’t believe I have often dreamt a song. But maybe subconsciously and you resonate with dream song later the same day. Go with your ‘dreaming basis’ for a song idea Sheila. Sounds sound when sound asleep. Spooky. Cheers.

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      2. Yes, a friend who is all woo-woo spiritually was taken advantage of by a man posing to be her empathic soul mate. He wasn’t. He was quite the poser. A pretender. She brought the word, saboteur to my mind, thus this song. Of course you know I love to meditate on the yin and yang, so there’s that.

        I love the musical arrangement that Suno AI came up with. I love the idea of angels singing, Gray. Lovely! I also love real drumming on ‘skins.’

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      3. It is great that you yourself can tap into many scenarios with your enquiries and respond with thoughtful response. And there are definitely people out there that have agendas.

        Angels sing in many ways it seems where music is involved. Cheers.

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    1. Keep music live is the base to my hopeful future purpose Shep. Maybe it’s that mantra thought of wishful thinking to playing live and in raw presentation again that keeps memories of band days spinning around my brain. The visual ‘bars lengths’ of individually self recorded instrumental GarageBand tracks on a computer screen can’t currently hold a candle to the buzz of an audience interaction and feedback from past memories.

      But then, the recordings are still exciting enough to keep fighting for and to get right eventually. Cheers for the comment Shep. Succinct and yet as insightful as always. 🙏🏽

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  3. you opened a magic time-travel box, Gray.

    there’s something so beautiful about chasing the ghost of a song. even if it’s not the same, the fact that it once meant something — to you, and Kev, and others — makes the search feel worthwhile.

    songs hang on, they are never fully gone. they remind us what matters to us without us having to explain it.

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    1. Thank you cookie. I did a similar thing with the song ‘Old Man’. Uploaded a progress recording of it a short while back here on the blog site. It is one of the very first songs I wrote when about 17 years old. So 52 years back, and therefore no actual idea of how it really sounded when our first four piece band, Soft Ground, played it. My brother, the guitarist, said he couldn’t remember it sounding the way I played it recently. But I do know the verse and chorus are very close to the original tune. Lyrics are close too.

      As you say, songs do linger on and come back to us every so often. Albeit mostly wearing new clothes on each visit.

      Cheers cookie.

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  4. The feeling of rediscovering old school notebooks or sketchpads is a very special one. Some things you remember, some seem strange at first, some you shake your head at. Or as you so beautifully put it, “recognizing foundations, and yet still with past inspirations having an effect on where to instinctively go.” Happy creating, Gray!

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    1. Thank you Friedrich. I am no artist, yet found that the same shapes were always drawn or painted. Repetitive nature to my art at school. At secondary school, my art teacher put me into my ‘O’ level art exam a year earlier than the norm. I achieved a Grade 1 which knocked me sideways. It was blocked imagery of intermingling shape patterns in solid blocks of prime colours. Stuff I had been doodling with for years. I often wonder what I would do now if a paintbrush was picked up again. Now I know that ‘block’ canvas picture I produced was born from my Aphantasia and lack of producing fuller imagery in my mind’s lack of imagination, I would probably do the same. No abilities to produce watercolour or acrylic country scenes, etc. so to speak.

      I remember being fascinated with Klee, Modigliani and Mondrian’s work when my Nan brought home little posters for me from the Art’s Centre. She was a cleaner there and was very well liked. She knew I put theatre play posters and various artists’ work on my bedroom walls. So her colleagues there gave her bundles of old and throwaway posters for me. Why these type of artists drew me into their paintings? I have no idea. They just made sense.

      I wonder if your own art pointed to you having natural talent at an early age. I bet it did. 😊 All the best Friedrich. Happy creating to you too.

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      1. Thank you Gray! You raise some very interesting points: In my opinion, the praise you receive from your teachers supports your desire to hold on to a particular form of expression. The praise you receive from your mum and dad can stay with you for a lifetime. The fact that you like artists like Klee and Mondrian does the rest. Of course there is nothing wrong with sticking to a certain niche, but there is a risk that we miss out on many new and valuable things. Like people who have stuck with Greatfull Death and the like. For me it was and still is the case that I like discovering new things and try to find myself in them or see myself reflected in them. But there is no right or wrong, just your inner voice. That is the beauty of diversity and we are on the verge of losing it if we are not careful. 😊

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      2. Very true Friedrich. In life I have changed direction every 10 years (approximately) to find new directions. Musician to potter to sign language training and on to supporting Deaf and hard of hearing students in education to working with people in social services to teaching Deaf Awareness courses in the local college to Staff nurse role in career mode. Photography, blog writing, poetry, gardener, DIY, and so many various hobbies, etc. have been a life Mantra. My wife and myself worked in a Wholefood shop in our late teens to early twenties in central England. She now, decades later, owns her own shop here in Wales. It was fantastic to get involved in the early stages of opening the shop and both seek answers to the philosophies of ethical/eco friendly choices to allow the empathetic large local town community to realise and support a shop that equally supported their own principles.

        The Centre for Alternative Technology (CAT) lies a few miles north of the town where my wife’s shop exists. Many locals have links with CAT since the 1970s. CAT had a small Wholefood shop and Wholefood cafe in the town which both closed down 13 years ago. Hence my wife and her now business partner starting the new Dyfi Wholefoods venture back then. 12 years ago now. They both worked in the CAT wholefood shop, so were well known in the community.

        Reading your own blog write up information of a life you yourself has lived shows an avid seeker too. As an artist I love that your explanatory process of painting with other influential outside considerations is actually a fascinating one. Emotional self to Zen to photography to cultural inclusions to Music, etc. You Dance with these influences to create your ongoing brilliant artistic outcomes. So I suppose we are both ever moving. And I do recognise my own limitations. But I still enjoy having a go and seeing my outcomes realise reality, despite their naivety, very, very much. Even in my music, live playing, recording and songwriting, I have been interested in very many genres. Music, like art/sculpture, has limitless possibilities.

        Thank you for your thoughtful comments Friedrich. Priceless.

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  5. Funny how life finds a way. The last paragraph speaks volumes. The songs may or may not resemble the version you desire to remember and reproduce. But your inner being, your soul and your life will find a way to make the results exactly what they should be. and smash that clock face…..

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    1. Thanks Danny. I always think of how songs are covered from the original one too. And how diverse they can sound from the original. Even current recordings of new songs I am writing are nowhere near what my head hears internally as to what they should sound like.

      But there are a few of the new songs that I really am happy with concerning the arrangements. Would just love the individual instrumental melodies to be played, engineered for cleaner/clearer sound and mixed properly. And my vocals singing in focused earnest alongside. Be nice to turn the clock hands forward to see if that becomes a recorded reality. I’d release them then on Bandcamp. Cheers Danny.

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