Tired? We’ll, yes. Exhausted actually. And is not even the end of the first week into the New Year. November and December were full on. November with workload. Workload attached to much physical and mental stress over a six week period. Result? December. With its debilitating symptoms of illness. Usually of a stoic Summers’ nature, one cannot help but feel angry with a self situation. Two months that equate to the final straw that breaks the decades on decades of camel’s back.

Dizziness and swerving from pillar to post, positional crazy swirling results have settled somewhat after weeks experiencing them. Nausea, sleeping elongated periods in the daytime and insomniac nighttime experiences were frustrating. And the blogging brave face presentation to hide negativities was a way of coping.

A couple of weeks of Epley postural manoeuvre interventions to clear crystal shifting possibilities in my semi circular canals, steam inhalations with Tea Tree, Eucalyptus and Lavender essential oils and Neti pot performances to rinse debris from sinus passages. I believe these interventions to calm the dizzy experiences worked to a large-ish degree. However, currently? A massive sinus drenched and blocked head cold, a bad chest cough and watery eyes exist. Maybe the sinuses were compromised anyway. Who knows? Certainly not my nurse head space. A muddled mind has no ability to analyse.

Link to book’s overview below:

https://williambloom.com/2015/05/29/introduction-to-the-penguin-book-of-new-age-and-holistic-writing/

Triggers that bring you up sharpish. Make you realise.

So I was looking at hundreds upon hundreds of my photographs in the ‘Media’ section in the Jetpack app at about 04.00 this morning. I came to a conclusion, when being presented with visual evidence en masse, that the Summers’ mind will evidently not switch off! It’s relentless in its pursuit of ‘anything and everything’. And I am truly fed up with its tenacity. It’s like sitting in a theatre, looking at a stage full of your own activities, thoughts, actions, life lived, etc. and there is so much presented that you will never be able to get out of the building. Mind went back to Murakami’s story Town of Cats within his novel 1Q84. Pretty emotional reading in many ways from my extremely poor memory of reading it.

A couple of quotes….

“When a vacuum forms, something has to come along to fill it. Because that’s what everybody does”.

“The young man knows that he is irretrievably lost. This is no town of cats, he finally realises. It is the place where he is meant to be lost. It is another world, which has been prepared especially for him. And never again, for all eternity, will the train stop at this station to take him back to the world he came from”.

Both the above quotes from Haruki Murakami, 1Q84.

With the last few months being pretty much full on physically and mentally, illness creeping in whilst unlooked for and then looking back on those photographic images over the years on years of blogging, it was a bit overwhelming. A crescendo of exhaustion over an eight weeks’ period? It feels like you have suddenly been broken. Evidence existed in those photographs, if I’m honest, that the mind doesn’t sleep in Summersville.

A break to self centralise spiritually is truly needed. No, not one of those self expressed trite social media platitudes of ‘Oh! I am taking a break from Twitter, Facebook, etc……again’ scenarios. Just a much needed, as said, centralisation to get connected with Summers again. Look! I even talk about myself in the third person! Illeism has invaded my nature and is evidence to my current mindset. Step outside and find a way to get back at ‘peace within the mind, body, spirit and soul’. Why? Where has peace of mind gone? Was it ever there anyway? Why have I adopted an ever searching, hunting, learning characterisation for decades on decades? It’s crazy to be honest. Introvert nature seemingly does not provide ease and simplicity. The mind still has its cogs that love and live for the sounds of their own whirring voice.

It sounds like a break of a fair few weeks is needed. Maybe months. Get balance sorted. No not the dizziness…..the mind. Time to only think of self well being. Beat exhaustion and find freshness.