It was a very strange day yesterday, Sunday, with emotions fighting for their own territory space to speak to my mind in putting forward their cases. The jostling and shufty-ing with each other to get each emotive competitor out of the limelight, in order to present their own individual stories was, in hindsight, pretty thought provoking.

It is now 4 o’clock in the Monday morning, insomnia has rankled since 02.30 and so I put on a pair of headphones to check if my recording of a bit of Muzak I subliminally wrote and recorded yesterday still sounded okay. The theme of yesterday’s music playing was borne from giving myself a short exercise to do. An example to bemoan the irony of recording my songs with a bent towards GarageBand repetition. I find myself producing a frustrating musical repetition currently. I wrote a song once called ‘Going through the Motions’. That, I felt, and still feel, was/is my current dilemma. And it is based upon the GarageBand drum and percussion options being a technical need. I don’t play them. They are all prerecorded. But they give me the opportunity for a base to build songs upon. I have to shrug and use ‘yet another’ library option when building my songs. Percussive this time. Coffee Shop/Cafe was the choice. Latin was too jaunty.

Subconscious or not, on Saturday I suddenly happenstance on an electronic drum kit on the internet. Internet algorithms can read your mind. Then present imagery and suggestions that you really need a bread maker, a Christmas jumper/sweater (that you have never owned in your life) or, as said, an electronic drum kit. I swear we are being telepathically invaded by aliens from outer space. ‘Play your own drums if you don’t feel comfortable with the options’ says a voice from the Universe. So, I find myself on eBay. And sure enough, buy a simple electronic table top drum kit.

The result of yesterday’s excursion into the weird Muzak instrumental result I put together was one of positivity borne from an intentional need to present the negativity of my current situation. The music was to present the emotive conditions and responses to feelings of frustration, not happy optimism; grumpiness, not positivity; confusion, not clarity. It led to a simple piece of weird and unlooked for Muzak.

The reality of playing two guitar parts with endless repetitive flicked chords/notes, followed by overlaying numerous synthesized keyboard notes playing simple melody tunes, that kept springing from the subliminal neural pathways in my brain, resulted in a naive self healing/therapeutic piece.

Why? Because this insomniac sat listening to the two instrumental results through headphones about an hour ago, over and over and over. The volume was low and comfortable enough to hear individual instrumental patterns weaving in and out the two songs’ lengths. The long version followed by the short version. Played each about half a dozen times repetitively. To be honest, it could have been more. The lightbulb moment! Hey! My musical mind’s excursions from yesterday had/have provided me with a bit of self healing therapy. I suppose subliminally, whilst building the piece of Muzak, I subconsciously tapped into what my brain, body, emotional crises needed to actually heal themselves. My inner need for sine wave frequency’s that settled my mood.

It was a very weird experience to be honest. I actually mind separated from the fact that it was myself playing this music. The music became its own unique entity. I suppose inner music is there simply for that reason. We all inherently sing our own life stories by producing our own emotive musicality in the form of inner songs that heal our lives. Who doesn’t hum one’s own unique tune for comfort.

THESE WERE WHAT I PLAYED BELOW,

SAT IN A NICE COMFORTABLE POSITION, WITH HEADPHONES, EYES SHUT AND PLAYED THE MUSIC AT LOWISH VOLUME. NOW I’M ALL OF A SEDATED DITHER.