#Frail Autumn,, #Health Matters, #music, #songwriting

Our own unique inner song.

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It was a very strange day yesterday, Sunday, with emotions fighting for their own territory space to speak to my mind in putting forward their cases. The jostling and shufty-ing with each other to get each emotive competitor out of the limelight, in order to present their own individual stories was, in hindsight, pretty thought provoking.

It is now 4 o’clock in the Monday morning, insomnia has rankled since 02.30 and so I put on a pair of headphones to check if my recording of a bit of Muzak I subliminally wrote and recorded yesterday still sounded okay. The theme of yesterday’s music playing was borne from giving myself a short exercise to do. An example to bemoan the irony of recording my songs with a bent towards GarageBand repetition. I find myself producing a frustrating musical repetition currently. I wrote a song once called ‘Going through the Motions’. That, I felt, and still feel, was/is my current dilemma. And it is based upon the GarageBand drum and percussion options being a technical need. I don’t play them. They are all prerecorded. But they give me the opportunity for a base to build songs upon. I have to shrug and use ‘yet another’ library option when building my songs. Percussive this time. Coffee Shop/Cafe was the choice. Latin was too jaunty.

Subconscious or not, on Saturday I suddenly happenstance on an electronic drum kit on the internet. Internet algorithms can read your mind. Then present imagery and suggestions that you really need a bread maker, a Christmas jumper/sweater (that you have never owned in your life) or, as said, an electronic drum kit. I swear we are being telepathically invaded by aliens from outer space. ‘Play your own drums if you don’t feel comfortable with the options’ says a voice from the Universe. So, I find myself on eBay. And sure enough, buy a simple electronic table top drum kit.

The result of yesterday’s excursion into the weird Muzak instrumental result I put together was one of positivity borne from an intentional need to present the negativity of my current situation. The music was to present the emotive conditions and responses to feelings of frustration, not happy optimism; grumpiness, not positivity; confusion, not clarity. It led to a simple piece of weird and unlooked for Muzak.

The reality of playing two guitar parts with endless repetitive flicked chords/notes, followed by overlaying numerous synthesized keyboard notes playing simple melody tunes, that kept springing from the subliminal neural pathways in my brain, resulted in a naive self healing/therapeutic piece.

Why? Because this insomniac sat listening to the two instrumental results through headphones about an hour ago, over and over and over. The volume was low and comfortable enough to hear individual instrumental patterns weaving in and out the two songs’ lengths. The long version followed by the short version. Played each about half a dozen times repetitively. To be honest, it could have been more. The lightbulb moment! Hey! My musical mind’s excursions from yesterday had/have provided me with a bit of self healing therapy. I suppose subliminally, whilst building the piece of Muzak, I subconsciously tapped into what my brain, body, emotional crises needed to actually heal themselves. My inner need for sine wave frequency’s that settled my mood.

It was a very weird experience to be honest. I actually mind separated from the fact that it was myself playing this music. The music became its own unique entity. I suppose inner music is there simply for that reason. We all inherently sing our own life stories by producing our own emotive musicality in the form of inner songs that heal our lives. Who doesn’t hum one’s own unique tune for comfort.

THESE WERE WHAT I PLAYED BELOW,

SAT IN A NICE COMFORTABLE POSITION, WITH HEADPHONES, EYES SHUT AND PLAYED THE MUSIC AT LOWISH VOLUME. NOW I’M ALL OF A SEDATED DITHER.

29 thoughts on “Our own unique inner song.”

  1. Oh, I love the groove you have going here, Gray. I hear the slight difference between the first longer recording and the second short one too. I can pick out the bass run and the drumming (almost bongo like). Okay, you are onto something. This is transporting. I mean it transports me to some surreal place. I listened with headphones on too. Cheers!

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    1. Thank you Sheila. Since the 1970s/80s and my holiday excursions to Wales to stay in a static caravan we owned in the middle of a field, I found myself reading Lord of the Rings and playing New Age music. Mainly by a guy called Philip Chapman.

      It started when I entered an old chapel converted into a craft shop selling really earthy crafts from the local community. Great quality pieces though. Not knitted toilet roll cover type inclusions. In the background was this ethereal musical noise being played that instantly calmed the senses. Alongside the aroma of what craft shops offer in the form of dried aromatic flowers and herbs, heavy knitted woollen jumpers, pottery and turned wooden bowls was this amazing musical ambience. Just thought of ‘that’ Jim Broadbent speech as the composer in Cloud Atlas now!

      But those holiday break periods of such simplicity had an everlasting effect on my life I suppose. As you say…..a musically based ‘transportation system’ to what mattered in our lives back then. The feeling of escapism in that two week holiday period amongst Mother Nature. It allowed us to escape from the city confinement. Holistically the music was an essential inclusion.

      Of course, I have no imagery from those days to accompany the music. But there is, inherently, a massive feeling of calmness upon thinking of those simple times.

      Cheers Sheila. Once again….Thank you for your encouraging reply.

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      1. Sure, Gray! I live to encourage and uplift, though I realize that can also challenge some folks (happy to stay as they are)! Haha!
        I also met a couple decades ago that created music from Atlantis (supposedly), and I loved it. I met them at a flea market (an open air sell anything kind of swap place). It was the first New Age music I experienced, so I can relate to the music you refer to.
        I love anything that transports me to another place. Ethereal. Spiritual. OM

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      2. When I made pottery of mythical nature, I too met many interesting people as you describe. Fascinating conversations ensued. Your posts are always full regarding positivity and seeking solutions for enhancing well being. So interesting for your visitors to dip into. Myself? As you know I am on a more gentle slope and treading along life’s path quite nicely now. But I do acknowledge and appreciate your fantastic commitment to these therapeutic arenas. OM would be my number one choice from your three offerings here. Thank you Sheila.

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      4. The Medicine Buddha Mantra chant I often use (the longer version) begins with OM. Zen is a nice approach to life balance. I never delve deeply into the practice. Just try to follow the rules of decency to others. OM………

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      5. Beautiful. I have done several different chants over the years. I love Tina Turner’s chant that she did and I tried it for a while. And I like Snatam Kaur’s chants. I sometimes just chant OM (Aum) and go through the scales. Or simply hum one note. Anything to reach my center. I am glad you also find the practice peaceful.

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      6. I remember you saying about Tina. I said the Medicine Buddha chant just before I went under anaesthesia for an operation. I knew the anaesthetist as I worked with her in theatre for a few months. So didn’t feel awkward. In recovery, my nurse colleague who was overseeing my post op situation, said I gave them a massive scare. They were apparently pumping IV fluids (Hartmann’s) into me quickly because my blood pressure was suddenly in my boots. Maybe I nearly died. Who knows.

        But I often think of that Mantra. That’s why it is so dear to me.

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      8. I met the nurse a few years later. We chatted for a while and I asked her if it was spooky. She said it was really spooky. Meaning……a panic mode for instant intervention! So, yes, a combo of Medicine Buddha Mantra and Medicine Buddy Mates works their charms. 😊

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    2. When you say about your headphones Sheila, I often wonder what people actually listen through. I listen to all music, like Richard’s for example, through really decent headphones. I have the Bluetooth ones or the jacked Beyerdynamic ones I use when recording. When I play through the iPad speaker, the Bose (too much bass for my liking) or my cheaper earbuds, I get poor sound quality. Songs sound completely different. Some are extremely intimate and of warmer/clearer/precise tones and separation in the headphones as opposed to being played through my CD player speakers.

      If you mix the sound of your future recordings, then I read that mixing can be specific to what your listeners would probably use. Youngsters use their iPhones with headphones on for example. Older people listen through a radio. Apparently they are totally different in sound qualities. Different parts of the brain hear different sounds from the same recorded song depending on the device used. Worth thinking about.

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      1. I understand about the younger generation. I used to wear earbuds til I got an ear infection and I never used to get ear infections. Then I wore Bose noise canceling headphones until I got vertigo. Now, I wear my BrainTap headphones but only occasionally since I got tinnitus a year ago. BrainTap is geared for subliminal and binaural beats type music and brain entrainment. They were very expensive. They have red and blue lights that synch to the programs they sell. I used to sell them too, so I did a lot of research on them. Dr Bruce Lipton also knows the developer, Dr Patrick Porter. Anyway, I have been thoroughly tested by ear doc and my hearing is fine. There’s no one cure for tinnitus, as in no one-size fits all solution. But I continue to try new things. That is why I limit my headphone usage though.
        I enjoyed both sound clips, Gray. They helped me fall asleep last night. Soothing.

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      2. My niece is a well respected expert on Tinnitus here in the UK. You are going about therapy through cancellation and combatant frequencies. Definitely a useful technique. I have seen my niece first a fair few years, so cannot expand on anything that you have said in your own research Sheila. I did know that one size doesn’t fit all though. Rather like pain control. I find now that the earbuds are contra-indicated. I believe it is more the rubber grommet intolerance. Rather like latex reactions.

        That is a fantastic reply re: aid for your sleep. I found I was quite comforted with the longer track. Middle of night vibes are thinking too much about ongoing concerns. That repetition of my own making was a weird experience though. Physician go heal thyself comes to mind. Cheers Sheila.

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      3. Excellent information about the rubber grommet intolerance on the ear buds, Gray. I am sensitive to latex too, can only use one kind of bandage. All others cause skin irritation. So, yes, this tinnitus is a mystery. The BrainTap greatly reduced a friend’s husband’s tinnitus, but so far, hasn’t relieved it for me. I definitely agree it’s akin to pain management (individual treatments vary). Like how we all have different pain tolerance thresholds, apparently we have different hearing frequency thresholds too? I don’t know but keep exploring. I would love to exchange ideas with your niece on the subject sometime. Just a thought. Appreciate the feedback, Gray. No pun intended kind sir. Cheers. OM

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      4. I worked alongside a couple of nurses with latex intolerance. Rubber gloves caused havoc on their hands. Both off for months on end when first realised why the hands were red raw.

        My niece is on the internet. I just looked up her Google search profile. She’s on Twitter! If you type in Georgina Burns-O’Connell, British Tinnitus Association, Doctor of Philosophy on Google search, you’ll see she has a few page profiles. Maybe there are specific information or leads that can guide you to different approaches. I believe she has written some papers too. Here’s a link to one of Georgie’s that may interest you. Musicians and tinnitus. But I’m not sure if you can access the whole article on this one. It just took me back to my Athens search experiences when a nurse. We had specific access passwords for all the sites as health professionals. I wish I still had them sometimes. Some very interesting studies out there that can’t be read unless paid for. A great site for you to access is the Cochrane Library. Just type it on an internet search. They do comparisons on research papers and can provide a very insightful summary as to specific questions you ask. Here’s one of Georgie’s.

        https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34501628/

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      6. That’s good. I looked at the Cochrane Library quickly. Didn’t access any reports, but plenty of info on studies regarding Tinnitus.

        Thought you may like this lovely rendition of the Medicine Buddha Mantra.

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  2. “We all inherently sing our own life stories by producing our own emotive musicality in the form of inner songs that heal our lives. Who doesn’t hum one’s own unique tune for comfort.” this is wisdom. now get some sleep.

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    1. I didn’t get any sleep cookie. Just stayed up and then went on with the day. I wrote a few blogs a few years back about the waking middle of night syndrome. As I get older, I seem to need far less sleep. Well. It helps to make me wise as you so correctly stated here. 😆

      But a huge thank you for seeing some wisdom in my middle of night naive explorations into philosophising. Seriously though. It is very much appreciated. I actually did get a weird glow when reading it back myself. Need to become an insomniac more often if it helps me write decent lyrics for songs. All the best cookie.

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  3. as your unique story goes, I liked how you ended here … unique inner song… does work well to those moments when needed.

    and if you be sitting in such a comfy position, why ever would you want to sleep lol…
    hope you managed to catch up on sleep 🤍🙏

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      2. There are always questions to ask yourself. Moving onwards will bring many questions still. It’s the answers that matter more though. Be true to yourself and don’t tread the wrong pathways. Too much stress involved. 🙏🏽

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  4. Hi Gray, what a productive way to enjoy insomnia. The second songs speaks to me, seems like more depth – I enjoyed both. Granted I am not listening with head phones, I have a crappy speaker but then if the songs sound lovely on crappy speakers…. those are good songs.

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    1. Cheers Danny. I do like the second angelic sound. I like the elongated one for grabbing 5 minutes of peace though. I have really nice headphones so they can envelop the different frequencies and present a nice sound balance to relax within. But it’s good that ‘crappy’ works. I have been reading about mixing songs and the need to deliberate upon what devices your songs are likely to be heard on. Cheers Danny. Nice reply as always.

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