#complementary therapy, #Health Matters, #prose

A sigh of relief is a fantastic feeling.

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Just a quick update as to my recent experiences for this blog. Health issues have kept me from blog writing and uploading for a number of weeks.

Last December was an experience of dizziness and fragile mobility for a fair number of weeks. Not full on vertigo. But discombobulating nonetheless. Following? January brought about two sessions of extremely debilitating flu bouts. Of Covid nature in impact. They completely floored me. Then an MRI scan appointment arrived in January. This sent for by the doctor due to the December dizziness. He referred to a neurologist too.

After a visit to the doctor around four weeks ago to discuss the MRI brain scan result, he has put me on Ramipril (an ace inhibitor blood pressure tablet), Atorvastatin for cholesterol (probably genetic family born cholesterol) and Amlodipine ( a calcium antagonist tablet for blood pressure too). Why? The MRI scan showed a small ‘bulge’ in the ‘vascular system’ of my brain. So, a second scan on a CT scanner recently was performed for a closer arterial look. Contrast dye in the form of iodine to see brain blood flow. If that bulge was an aneurism it means it’s important to keep blood pressure down. Checking what that ‘small bulge’ was, was a very stressful time. Aneurism? Cholesterol built up plaque? If aneurism, low blood pressure is a must. My thoughts were ‘Just stay chilled about it all’. Easier said than done. After these MRI findings, a consideration of MRA (angiogram) or, alternatively, a contrast CT scan was booked to find answers. I waited two weeks and luckily a CT scan appointment arrived. The MRA can be a three month wait. The CT scan ‘answer’ report has recently been sent a few days go and found to be Okay. Yay! ‘Unremarkable’ is the consultant word used. So no aneurism or other weird stuff. Huge on huge sigh of relief. As a retired Staff Nurse my knowledge didn’t help in my abilities to seeking calmness. But my ‘the glass is half full’ temperament stood me in good stead. I sought various calming complementary therapies.

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Complementary Therapies worked well. Still do. So. Why carry on with the medication? Blood pressure taken by the doctor, after he gave me the initial MRI scan news of this conundrum, was 217 systolic over 147 diastolic. That’s bad to say the least. But given the ‘bulge’ news. blood pressure wasn’t going to be low was it. The worry/stress over weeks to months has my blood pressure still seeing unlooked for high readings. An aftermath that comes from having a good fright. Now, blood pressure is calmer after the ‘all okay’ news and I feel happier. Blood pressure currently in the 110 to 120 area with systolic pressure. And around the 70’s to 80s diastolic. These tablets have been a good while in my system so are getting to full effectiveness. Alongside therapy borne from music, sound frequencies, herbal tea and continuation of good nutrition with my vegetarian diet. I have been vegetarian for 50 years now.

And ongoing? Currently I am continuing to chill in many ways.

Recently bought this book to use with a set of nine Solfeggio Tuning Forks.

My latest acquisition. Bought a set of hand machined Solfeggio tuning forks made by Omnivos to listen to effective vibrational sound therapy with use of the nine different frequencies. Expensive, but ‘ring vibrate’ for a longer period. Reading a great book on how to apply them effectively. Also going back to my old discipline of applying self guided Mindfulness meditation and linking focused breathing exercises. Music of New Age nature, listened to on YouTube, helps calm me too.

Reading the Mark Bosch book above and other internet enquiry led to insights of the Solfeggio scale frequencies and their mathematical importance. This particular website link below was really interesting in addressing the Solfeggio frequency system to a more profound spiritual philosophy.

https://www.binauralbeatsfreak.com/sound-therapy/solfeggio-frequencies-guide

My tuning fork design. Photograph from the Amazon site.

Also, with the recent sunny weather calmness comes with gardening. About a month ago we bought trellis, seedling shoots of vegetables, salad leaves and herbs for the raised beds, plants for the many pots around the house and some small ground cover plants for the steps, etc. Love breaking up sharp edges in gardens with soft plants as ground cover. Went to town a fair few weeks back with Angie and trundled around three of the garden centres. So some fine extras for the garden ambience.

Talking of stressful events recently. My Dad is now back home, yes in his own house, with a package of care. He spent a month in hospital. Low iron levels, poor mobility and acute confusion. More evident confusion than in his usual level in having Alzheimer’s dementia. Wrongly, he was sent to a residential home as initial discharge. The worst choice ever. He hated and hates the idea of spending the rest of his days in a ‘home’. So, to escape, he climbed an eight feet high wall and fell onto the pavement the other side. He’s 90 years old this year! So having dropped from said height, he found himself back in hospital. Amazingly, despite a wound to his head, no broken bones! The hospital dementia nurse said he is now chatting with capacity and clarity conversationally and walking about nicely now. Hence him able to return home last week. Crazy times that happened when I was going through this situation of brain scans’ investigation. No wonder my blood pressure fluctuated to highs.

Now. Just got to try to get back to songwriting and recording again. Haven’t touched the home studio recording set up in earnest for months. But there is a certain Frankie the Fella very needy cat that upsets the Apple Cart with that one too. More questions than answers in how to solve that one!

A Long, Very, Very Long, Additional Bit of Prose.

If you arrive at the End……Thank you for your patience

Mindfulness and Seeking Calm by Gray Summers.

Your outside is not seen

By anyone else

Outside,

Looking in.

Because you are inside

Within a self placed

Self built

Life’s Mind-Palace

That breathes.

Isolating serenity.

Your inside, feeling awed by the possibility

Of a perfect moment in time

When you are using

Your mindful brain.

It’s bliss. Yet….

Full on ambition in non-thinking

Is not possible.

Because

Full on intrusive thinking

Is a constant friend…

Or enemy.

Cracks of shimmering beauty

Or dark, suffocating

Interruption.

Both exist.

Swirling in chaotic dance

They both persist.

Dark reminders?

Unwanted angst ridden thoughts of

Fear and guilt.

Twins that seek redemption.

Yet give no answers.

Only questions

That have no answers.

A tangled weave of desperation.

And so begins the journey to

Mind-find and accept

The inherent internal vibrations.

Go meet the proffered external

Resilience frequency

At 396 hertz.

Borne within the internal genetic molecular.

Borne on the external twin angelic vibrating wings

Of a Solfeggio tuning fork.

Musical notes

Inner synapse and outer power

Each recognise, synergise,

Meet and swirl dance.

Both amplify.

Liberate, heal,

Dissolve and detoxify these

Hated, hateful hurts.

Sends them away on clouds.

Sedates the curse.

Replaces with harmony as

Old ghostly, smile ridden friends return

Healing emotionally.

Borne within and without.

Silvery, shimmering tantalising lights.

Delight.

Yet even so.

This is meditation.

My sought for blissful empty state.

My mind-palace of placed nothing-ness.

No visitors please.

Even the good ones.

Bringing their 528 hertz harmony.

Angelic shimmering vibrational wings

Hum sound waves that bring

Love and affection.

And a returning smile from me.

Yours truly.

Yet still.

Not wanted. Not needed.

In empty mind space.

But as sure as eggs is eggs

They persist.

Attempting beyond Tempting.

‘Go chase, go join, go dance within

These plethora of silvery threads.

Find where they could take me’,

I mind whisper.

They whisper back.

‘Join us again’.

They glisten.

No.

Do….not….listen.

Do not break the seeking of

Spiritual perfection on a whim.

They shimmer again.

A gain!

No.

Disaster albeit a welcome vibe.

But there they are.

There it is.

Snowflake, snowfall, translucent and beautifully silvery white.

Like shimmering liquid alabaster.

Dream thought

Impossible not to chase

Or Touch.

Its threads akin to grimoire inclusions.

A chance taken?

Perchance to fall?

Perchance to fail?

‘Obviously, no.

Perchance to dream’, they whisper.

Tendril threads

Dance with glee.

Not sinisterly.

But in sincerity.

Singing soft swished swirling notes

And waiting patiently.

Hoping. Probing.

Using their own sweeping, tantalising

Ghostly past friendships they

Whisper sing an eternal

Ethereal promised dream.

Mind inside pushes aside.

Ignoring the yearned for outcomes.

Envisaging

By not looking

Not listening

At all.

The Mind already knows.

That the inner soul, when once settled,

Provides its own magical spell

In emptiness.

Cool as cool…..emotionless…..much desired

Relief in emptiness.

29 thoughts on “A sigh of relief is a fantastic feeling.”

    1. When the new VeeDub Bus all singing and dancing twin port carburettor arrives from the USA and is fitted? I will then pop down to the local sea front, park up, put some tea and music on to chill and really become a regular Beach Boy. Cheers Shep. 😊

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  2. So glad to read this and thrilled for you and your dad, that you’re both doing better now, Gray! I thought of you many times since your previous post and had wondered if you were okay. That was sure some fall your dear dad took!
    I love the prose and tuning forks too. I have them also and need to use them on my ear.
    “The Mind already knows.
    That the inner soul, when once settled,
    Provides its own magical spell…”
    Beautiful!

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    1. Thanks Sheila. Nice to have your thoughts as cosmic support. Priceless.

      My Dad is a bit sheepish now having caused such a kerfuffle. My brother and sister fought hard with the social worker to get him back home. The social worker assessed him at his most ‘biologically weak and needing medication’ vulnerable. Massive anaemia status. Very inappropriate as a professional. We found a little booklet in his house from 2016 that had the theme of My Life, My Wishes. I got it from the MacMillan Nurse when in those hospital days. She visited the ward often and spoke about me filling one out with my Dad. I remember sitting down with him in the kitchen and asking the difficult, yet pertinent, questions. DNR, Finances, End of Life, etc. One was about residential or nursing homes. His words written were a definite ‘No, No’. Hence his great escape attempt. And of course, he wrote everything down himself, so showed capacity of mind at that time. The fall? Lucky guy really. 8 feet is one badass height to fall from.

      Those tuning forks were a tad expensive. But their frequency ring longevity is fantastic. And so pure too. I first found the idea on a YouTube video when looking at relaxation therapy. Someone recorded the Solfeggio nine in subsequent sequence. They are also based on a very mathematical system. The frequency video? Three times in a row and lasting about half an hour in total. It felt like floating on air. Hence investigations. I wondered about their use in Tinnitus, but haven’t explored that yet.

      I’m glad you liked the prose. It was an extension of a previous version. I wanted to add and include the frequency ideal.

      I hope to get back into focusing on others’ blogs now. Yours obviously. Haven’t felt quite right over the last weeks to channel energy into reading. Couldn’t truly focus. Mind you, I escaped with reading a few fictional books though. Now, life feels calm again.

      Cheers Sheila. All the best.

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      1. Yes, I sooo agree that 8 feet is a big height to fall, especially for an elder person. Your dad is definitely lucky not to have killed himself or no to have broken bones! I am sure you and family members were shocked he did that Houdini escape/maneuver! I am shocked reading about it!

        And no wonder it raised your blood pressure (or contributed to it no less).

        Well, the Solfeggio nine was a great thing for you to find. You are prompting me to look and play my forks again now. I’m always thrilled when you and a few other blogger pals motivate me to use something I already have or invest in a new hobby.

        I am still practicing writing with the fountain pen. Feel better. Cheers, Gray!

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      2. A lot of shrubs against the wall were held back by a length of wire through metal ring bolts set into the wall. This was his way of getting a foot hold and up onto the wall. Crazy isn’t it. My sister and brother arrived for a visit and saw him on the pavement with paramedics around him. So, yes, a shock for them.

        The tuning forks are amazing. I should use them on Frankie the Cat. May calm him down. I did think you may have some due to your ever enquiring mind. And sound therapy is of an ancient practice. The Gregorian monks used the Solfeggio scale. It’s good to include your interest in writing for holistic therapeutic practice too.

        Cheers too Sheila.

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      6. He says his back and legs ache and can’t understand why. I said ‘Climbing Mount Everest will do that to you’. He just responded ‘What?’ So I stopped there. Alzheimer’s is cruel. His full body CT scan showed no fracture trauma. So his head wound and body bruising were the only damage.

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  3. Gray, I am so glad you shared your update. my heart is with you as you focus on your recovery—I believe, with everything in me, that you’ll come through this stronger than ever.

    my abuela has a dish garden and I can tell it has such a quiet, steady way of healing—like nature’s way of reminding us to slow down and find peace. I can’t imagine how much comfort it must bring you.

    I also really felt the depth of your words. I can’t wait to hear more music from you when you’re ready—it’s going to be something special, I just know it.

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    1. Thank you cookie. Getting old isn’t fun at times. Your abuela has the right idea. She has a fine mind to seek comfort in this garden and it is very therapeutic to focus on such activity. Gentle, yet massively rewarding. I made a little rake about a decade ago for a Zen sand garden. Chose specific small and medium pebbles from the beach, some driftwood pieces and made a garden in a very large dish. Very therapeutic dragging the small rake, made from a large toothed wooden comb, into uniform shapes and spirals.

      I enjoyed adding a few more lines to this Mindful prose. And I tried narrating the piece through with a narrators voice. Not great. Poor delivery and timing. Narration is truly a very skilful art. I added lines to the prose to include the introduction of tuning fork frequencies. So happy with it now.

      The music is the most important aim in my life presently. I’m hoping to get some basics down soon. And get a more soulful vibe. Your last album has given me purpose and inspiration. So thank you for your great timing in releasing it.

      All the best cookie.

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      2. You have a great skill for songwriting, and singing/playing too cookie. Over the decades since playing and songwriting in the late 1960’s to a more earnest approach in the 1970s, it’s been a case of me tapping into certain sounds and vibes from various artists along the way. I love the New York earthy vocal vibe, the poetic lyrical way you write and the musical sound you produce. So, it would be great to get an energy like your songs. Albeit in a Summers’ way. Mind you, Wales, in a rural sense, has no vibe akin to your experiences. Nor does reaching retirement age. 😊

        All the best cookie. Thank you. 💫

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    1. Thank you Stan. A poem…..that’s brilliant. Sadly, the difference between whether it is poetry and prose is my downfall. I never really looked into the subject closely at all. So I am very uneducated in this matter. I just hang my hat on the storytelling nature of what I have written. Despite no paragraph or straightforward narrative format. I suppose writing song lyrics confuses my mind too.

      Poetry, to me, is a special niche with specific rules. Rules I cannot understand. And so, I just do not think I deserve to call myself the title ‘a poet’. Or give one of my ‘tell-stories-with-word-flow-involving-strange-imagery-pieces’ the name ‘a poem’. I am really pleased you felt it as a poem. That means I may have fallen into producing what I can only dream of doing.

      Listened to a couple of your Hammond pieces yesterday. I intend to get back to your last few uploads today and catch up properly. All the best Stan.

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      1. Two things I have to say about poetry:
        1. You get to decide if you’re writing poetry or prose. You called it prose and I should have left it at that. But I saw the formatting and felt the familiar interplay of imagery with vagueness. In that, I felt permission to experience it as a poem. But you get to decide.
        2. Rules. Schmoolz.
        You and are are creatives, artists. If we don’t know the supposed rules, we make up our own. If we do know the rules, we break them.
        Do I cherish the artistic avenues where I know some of the rules? You bet. It allows me to break them with flair.
        Do I meander down the paths where I have “no business going” because I never learned the secret sauce? Oh yeah! Because I have pure freedom. I go trailblazing, and wow, is it mind-blowing fun.
        Apologies for preaching. (However, I am an ordained minister so I know those rules. Ha!)

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      2. Stan….that is a ‘peach’ of a reply. Fascinating ideals from you here. I was thinking of making up a new word from my writing in this poetic/prose/lyrical type style. Rather akin to that fascinating book by John Koenig called ‘The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.

        He breaks the rules too. But in a considered way. No word for a known and familiar experience? Make one up.

        An example: ‘mornden’. A noun. ‘The self contained pyjama universe shared by two people on a long weekend morning, withdrawing from the world and letting the hours slow to a crawl, coming as close as they’ll ever get to pausing the flow of time, even as they know it’ll eventually rush back in all the faster’.

        From Morning+den ( a comfortable room that affords private time. Pronounced “mawrn-duhn”.

        Thought of John Lennon and Yoko Ono reading that one. Also, I like that because my music, reading and chilling room is called The Den. So wish I could slow time down in there again. Haven’t touched the home studio Mac for months now. Must rectify that one.

        I’m pleased to now know that you have free spirit. That’s why your songs, and other interests, are so eclectic.

        All the best Stan.

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  6. I agree with Stan .. I thought i was reading a poem at the end. I found it mesmerising. I really loved it.

    Sorry to read about your health scares and scans. I can imagine how scary that was, for both you and Angie. Not to mention the effect on your blood pressure. I hope the dizziness has passed … dizziness is not fun.
    Glad you’re on the road to recovery, and that you’re feeling more motivated to write and get back into your passions.

    Im glad your dad is doing better too. Being back in his own home will be good for him – familiar surroundings. He really was very lucky not to break anything

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    3. Mesmerising is high praise. Cheers for that. I’ll have to look deeper into the differences though. I have a weird way of expression in normal writing. So fluidity is often a mixed synergy at times.

      The dizziness up and left in January. But then Covid like flu hit twice. Floored me completely. After the MRI was done, and not hearing for 10 weeks, I thought there were no findings. I thought the year would be a decent one. Then out of the blue a call from the surgery saying the doctor wanted a face to face regarding the scan findings brought insecurity again. With the all clear I just want a quieter life now Brenda. This morning’s blood pressure results were 105 over 74 and then 107 over 71. So it feels nice to be in these 105 to 120 parameters over the last few weeks now.

      Very true Brenda. My Dad was lucky. He has also settled down with his new carers’ visits too. Nice to know someone is looking in on him four times a day.

      My Norman MacCaig poetry book arrived an hour ago Brenda. A 532 page spellbinder. It’ll be part of my daily go to for the rest of my life for sure. They are that good. So a huge thank you for your blog inclusion of an example. It was that poem that hooked me in. When you see certain literature and other written work themes…..you just simply ‘know’ they belong in your life.

      Cheers and all the best.

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