My Girls? I have my boys too. Later I’ll write a blog. So when I write that future blog……all will be equal in love and family. The above photograph was taken a few years ago now. Not a great focus. But how on earth do you use a camera phone? But it captures perfectly the mood. The time it was taken? At a time when my daughter and granddaughter came to stay with us in Wales to re-evaluate life after horrendous experiences and turmoil and get back on their feet. They stayed for quite a few months. It was a breath of fresh air them staying. It was also difficult too with talking through the emotional conversational content of finding answers to seemingly impossible tasks in getting things sorted. They moved back to Worcester after we all made a massive effort to get them back there with solid foundations. A house was found and their life was back on track.
A time where family ties are cemented in total and heartfelt trust due to the emotional turmoil that was going on at the time. Nothing breaks those values. They have always been there since birth. The times that closeness is tested is in support values. People say ‘Oh! They’re grown up now. They have to find their own solutions. Learn how to survive in their own way. They’ll never learn otherwise.’ Sometimes I can’t even find my own solutions at times of deep need. I flounder and can’t cope. My Mum has died. She was there for us. We were there for her and our Dad. Did I say, ‘Mum and Dad are all grown up now. They’ll survive this hiccup. They’ll get by’. NO! My Dad is alive and still there to help me out when I really need it. I’m there when he needs it. A phonecall of elongated conversation is not enough. And infrequent visits are not enough. I know that. When you live the other side of the country, it gets so difficult. Social values have changed. People are so far apart now that closeness can’t be emulated as once was with old fashioned family living in the same environmental area. I remember running across the road or jumping on my bicycle to visit Grandparents, aunties and uncles, and cousins. Black and white photographs of scenarios full of smiles and activity.
And that is what this photograph above shows. A time of heading for the dunes. A time that was emotionally led by my granddaughter. A time that showed the healing qualities because my granddaughter was an innocent and didn’t realise what was around her in the negative aspects. We provided positivity for her, and in doing so, provided positivity for us. Her excitement in what lay ahead. Infectiously heartwarming and lifting. This balanced the worriesome thoughts of how we were all going to solve a conundrum of how to plan for the future. Money needed to set up a stable life.
Money? Who cares about money? You find it through a yearning to get life back on track. Debt is the result. But myself and my wife don’t care a jot. Because now my daughter and granddaughter have the addition of a fiancé/Daddy, a step-sister (drop the traditional ‘step’ addition and state reality……a sister and new granddaughter) and a little brother/grandson. Friends in the street that they now share similar family experiences with. A family who still struggle, find answers, and carry on. That’s what life is about.
So, the photograph of my girls above shows the smiles. The strength of my wife to sort the problems of the other two girls in the photograph. My daughter who was there to support her daughter and give emotional balance and purpose to my wife. And my granddaughter who gave joy to both of them through innocence and finding joy in sand, sea, picking blackberries, second hand books, nighttime stories and being taught how to chop vegetables. Christmas was pretty perfect that year. My son and his family (who provide more in the sense of my girls/my boys) who live close to us in Wales, got a whole lot of joy too.
Me? The blog is really about a window in time. A time of what happened then. And because of what happened then and the outcomes? Life has changed and people have now arrived and become close and loved family. More grandchildren, more amazing people in my life. I was pretty much over the moon then. I’m still over the moon now. Because the move back to Worcester allowed the story to change, experiences to develop and life simply to go on.
5 thoughts on “My Girls.”
You describe family relationships which are largely lost here in Britain but remain common in Romania, which is part of my attraction to the country. The same seems to be true of many east European countries. However, the worship of money has spread from the West.
Concerning family values? Eastern philosophy too. Also, my best friend, a fellow nurse, is from Ghana. Their values too. Buddhism? That’s my value. And it works for me, but cannot influence external problems or outcomes. It simply is there for me to make sense of it all. Balance is the aim. That and a ‘choose wisely your day to day considerations’ as a valuable exercise of mindful ongoing. Then? Life experience does not overwhelm. That’s why thoughtful written exchange with people like yourself is so positive. You suggest subjects and ideas and this results in a psychological nudge for me to either seek further or to accept as read.
Just beautiful! Well said and accurate, I hope to be there for my (step-not needed) boys and my little girl in the same way!
Thank you for the comment. Wishing you and your family good fortune. All the best.
Reblogged this on Gray Summers and commented:
I was recently thinking about family values. In times of Covid when isolation took many tolls on many families. Should I write something of it’s importance to upload? My Home Statistics page shows that a visitor to my site has recently accessed this ‘My Girls’ story. Written way back in the early days of being here on WordPress. After years, I was curious of it’s inherent wording. Knew what it was about. So I looked and re-read to seek full understanding of how my stories presented in those early days. Cathartic is a word I use often when describing why journal and blog writing is important for myself. It made me realise that some stories, in their isolation, are enough to talk about considered subject choice. This one? Tells me everything I need to realise my views on family.