The VeeDub ambience. Does it provide Mindfulness or Stillness? There is a difference.

The word Stillness in the below thoughts is based on regarding Stillness when concerning biological considerations. Not Stillness found in the divine when seeking spiritual answers. Hunting an answer to apply an escape route from life’s stress impacts, which allows the body to repair and restore itself. I still read certain research papers and self healing is very much a consideration as I get older. Key areas to consider are the nurse philosophy I adopted of holistic approach.

Holism is consideration regarding the biopsychosocial aspects, alongside spiritual and environmental inclusions, as a total pathway to adopt towards ‘well being’ finding realisation. The Spiritual meaning for myself is finding inner spirit to rise above the storms. So Stillness can be sought inwardly. The current thoughts below are on how we can allow our body to get back, in a primal sense, to what it does best. Repair and restore by finding calmness sought and therefore eliminating external challenges.

Home. A quiet room indoors. Outside. A favourite spot amongst nature. A busy city/town place where an unusual found solace presents itself. All are escape spaces. A place for meditation? For quiet reflection? To breathe a sigh of relief? All these…..hopefully. Places that exist away from unwanted influences. You may believe this VeeDub space would bring such calm. Gentle light and comfort exists. Even more gentle when Christmas warm tone faerie lights are the only source. When seeking a Mindfulness Meditative state, any light in itself is not intrusive. This, in the photographs, would seem perfect. Especially sitting with a focused visual theme. For myself…if I turn the light off and sudden darkness envelops, then that does indeed become perfection. Perfection for repair and ongoing balance. Light? Perfect for alleviating stress with the Mindful applications. Focusing in the moment, whilst pushing away the past events and avoiding future may be’s.

Darkness. Even more settling. However, even though the curtains have a lining of blackout material, eye adjustment to the darkness means visual shadowed imagery can still creep in at times. With Aphantasia…..closed eyes allows Stillness, within the complete darkness result, to come along.

Mindfulness practice, is for myself, based on open eyes and immediate imagery to focus on. A Mandala, a flickering candle flame, swirling smoke of a joss stick, an interesting object like a painting or sculpture, a complicated striated pebble, a piece of wood with wonderful grain. The visual need that presents in order to study its content or movement. What you see sitting alongside the other senses too.

With Aphantasia, an inability to see anything with the Mind’s Eye when closing your eyes, is that you envelop true darkness. No internal mind images flitting across or coming into focus. The mind creates the similarity of sleep. Without the dreams. Mindfulness involves seeing the present surroundings. Aphantasia, with its best description for how I describe it, is that of complete, obtainable Stillness. Aphantasia continues to involve other senses of touch, hearing, smell and taste. And yet, Stillness can be found in searching for total senses emptiness if you allow them to diminish into the background. Not exactly a trance like situation when sitting or lying down with the senses still active. If I am in the VeeDub Bus, its surrounding aromas, the external noise from the place where it is parked up, the touch of cushions or held objects still exist. You have to eliminate those aspects as best as possible. The constants remain in the surrounding atmosphere, but they diminish due to familiarity. Like perfume or eau de cologne worn in the morning spray application, which you smell for a while, and then the scent disappears over the following hours. Only for someone, in those later hours, to say, ‘You smell nice. What perfume/aftershave are you’re wearing?’ Familiarity allows us to dampen down impactful presence.

Over months now, it has been a dream to create a time and appropriate space spent away from daily chattering thoughts. A place to practice the closing of the eyes and dive deeply into darkness and Stillness. With eyes closed, and having the condition named Aphantasia, it is sometimes lucky that I see nothing. Albeit a blank grey to deeper black canvas. Unless a brighter colour in the outside world is strong enough to creep through my closed eyelids. For example, shades impact the inner eyelids by floating in from a red sunset, a white full moon, etc. They exist in a subtle invasive colour palette form.

Stillness? It seems that it can be achieved by myself because the ability to dive deeply into nothing-ness is easy. Once the mind chatter is pushed completely away and the sound of ‘not quite silence’ surroundings diminishes, by sitting in the surrounding local quieter rural spots over the years of living here, it becomes that an empty state pretty much has the ability to become complete. The only thing that could intrude, is that of the Mind’s Eye producing internal brain induced images….and that is wonderfully absent. So the body mechanisms, in this state, suddenly have nothing to cling to. The senses are gone. Trance like status can then be achieved. Well almost! I have achieved periods of trance like state in the past. But it does require discipline. And luck. In sleep? It is certainly achieved. Until dream imagery and the audio script accompanying night’s sleep pattern comes along. But not if you suffer from insomnia.

In conclusive thought. In finding a time and appropriate space for Stillness in complete form, the Billie Cloud 9 VeeDub Bus for example, there is a firm belief that my body will no longer be challenged by external influences in any way. Despite suffering insomnia, there is my true belief that finding time for Stillness can allow the body to return to primal needs. It allows my body to have no challenges and therefore simply perform what it has done for humans since time began. And in that wonderful Stillness silence that envelops, the body can, and will, repair. It is allowed to get on with its, as said, primal work in keeping the biological and psychological inner frameworks alive.

When I was a nurse studying intently, it was fascinating to read about the body being able to get on with natural healing and replenishment with the presence of our suprachiasmatic nucleus that links with starting and ending the circadian rhythm process and finding a homeostasis need for balance and repair without fuss. The nighttime circadian rhythms responding to an external light/dark cue are therefore worth the considerations in developing opportunities to experience similar. That being Stillness. Especially if and when insomnia interferes with our natural repair and replacement abilities. So…trance like Stillness. Giving the body the chance to escape daily challenges. Not akin to the longevity of sleep bound hours….if they can be realised. But the breaks much needed over short times in the day. When insomnia is problematic, it is logical that the body needs an alternative to get by. And that is so much easier once a place of calm can be found.

So, hello Billie Cloud 9, you are my welcome friend in finding Stillness together.